The woman lying in the bed didn't even look like my mother, to be honest. She was a skeleton. Nothing but skin clinging to bones. Her skin was pale, there were deep, dark circles beneath her eyes, and her gray hair was patchy, yet she still refused to shave it off. Even in her current state, she still clung to her belief that women were supposed to be feminine and have long hair—not shaved heads like men. Although we'd tried to convince her, telling her that a smooth scalp would look more feminine than a head missing large patches of hair, nothing my sister or I could say would sway her.
I gave her a final look and then turned away, fighting back the tears in my eyes. As soon as I stepped out of the hospital room, I checked my phone. I always kept it on silent when I was visiting out of respect. Glancing at the screen, I noticed a missed call from my best friend, Lila, along with a text message telling me to call her back, ASAP.
I had a sinking feeling in my stomach, fearing that something was wrong. I waited until I was outside and in my car before I punched in her number. As if waiting for my call, only increasing my anxiety, Lila answered on the first ring.
“Josie, we have to talk about your birthday sooner or later,” she teased. “You can't keep avoiding me.”
I sighed. And there I thought it was going to be something dire or life-threatening. At least something earth-shaking. But no, it was just something I'd been trying to avoid for weeks. Something that honestly, with everything else going on, I couldn't care less about.
“My birthday is the least of my concerns right about now, Lila,” I said.
“C'mon, you only turn twenty-three once,” Lila said.
“Yeah, well, after your twenty-first birthday, nothing that comes after it matters anyway,” I said. “Except the twenty-fifth, because then your car insurance goes down. Or something like that.”
“No, you're not going to do this, Josie,” Lila said. “I'm not going to let you skip another birthday. Not this time. Not on my watch, baby.”
“My mom has cancer, Lila,” I said. “I honestly have more important things on my mind than my birthday.”
“I understand that,” she countered, her voice softening a bit. “But, you still need to take care of yourself, Josie. You still deserve to have a life too.”
“Fine, we'll get some wine and hang out. Watch some Orange is the New Black. That sounds like a great way to spend my birthday,” I said. “Happy now?”
“Nope. Not even close,” she said, a hint of amusement in her voice. “Because I've got something better planned.”
She practically sang the last part of that statement and it made my stomach drop. Lila had something big planned, and whenever Lila did something big, she tended to go all out. She had the luxury of having rich parents, which made it easy for her to do some crazy, extravagant things.
I groaned. “Please, no strippers,” I said. “I like men just fine, but random genitals in my face is too much. Not really into that, Lila.”
“Genitals,” Lila giggled. “It's a penis. A dick. Cock and balls. You're a grown woman, sweetie. It's okay for you to say those words, you know.”
Hearing each word come out of her mouth made me cringe even more. Lila was cackling with glee on the other end of the phone, knowing she was making me uncomfortable. She seemed to delight in making me squirm. Always had.
Sometimes, I wondered how we ever became best friends. She was always the wild one, even back in middle school when we'd first met. She lost her virginity before anyone else in our little group, and I, of course, was going to be the last. Because at twenty-three, I was still a virgin.
Lila continued, “Fine, there aren't going to be any strippers,” she said. “At least none that I know of.”
I groaned. “That you know of?”
“Calm down,” she said. “It's a cruise,” she said. “Just a little sail on the ocean. Harmless as it comes, right?”
“Maybe?” I bit my lip.
I hated that my best friend would be paying for me to go on a cruise. She had that kind of money, sure, but it still didn't feel right. Cruises weren't cheap, and I wasn't the kind of woman who was comfortable taking handouts.
“Listen, Lila, I appreciate it. But I really don't want you—”
“Shush. It's too late anyway,” she said. “I've already paid for the tickets and it's non-refundable. So, you're going on this cruise with me, whether you like it or not. I have a feeling, though, that you're going to end up liking it a lot.”
“I have classes,” I argued.
“It's during Spring Break,” she said. “I already made sure of it. Relax, Josie. I got you covered. I took care of everything.”
“My mom's chemo, though—”
“I've already called your sister, she's going to be there for your mom,” Lila said. “You literally have no excuse. None. Like I said, I took care of everything. Including, anticipating every excuse you'd throw up not to go and making sure it was covered.”
Lila laughed on the other end of the line, knowing she had me in checkmate. I wracked my brain, trying to come up with something, anything, that would get me out of going. But, like she said, she'd already taken care of everything. Dammit.