5 Bikers for Valentines

“No,” she said. “Honestly, no. I wouldn’t have.”

“Exactly.”

“That was ten years ago,” Mom said quickly. “Darren and I were scared for you and for Tara. We wanted to do what was best for everyone. Was it a mistake? Maybe. But it helped you straighten out. I mean, look at you now! You’re an entirely different person than you were back then.”

She was right. As much as I hated to admit it, military school worked. I straightened up. I fixed my life. Despite all that, the memory still stung.

“I think Tara’s afraid Darren will try something just as drastic this time,” I said. “She mentioned him before. She said she wasn’t sure she could be with me because of him.”

Mom sighed. “I’ve tried to make him see sense.”

“And?” I asked.

“Darren’s very set in his ways,” she said. “There’s not much I can say to change his mind.”

“What about you?” I asked. “What do you think about Tara and me?”

Mom’s eyes locked on mine. I could see the wheels turning in her head. She wasn’t the type to hold back her opinions, so I knew she would tell me the truth.

“My feelings are complicated,” she said. “I want you to be happy, Caleb. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. But I also want Tara to be happy. I know the two of you aren’t brother and sister. God knows I would never ask you to think of her that way. But I feel like she’s still my daughter. I didn’t give birth to her. I didn’t even meet her until she was sixteen, but I love her like my own.”

“So?” I asked, leaning forward. “What does that mean?”

“It means,” she said, sighing deeply, “if you both want to be together, then who am I to stand in the way? I love you, and I love Tara. If being together makes you happy, then I say go for it.”

I smiled and took a big bite of my donut. It was nice to finally hear my mother take my side over Darren’s. I could tell it was hard for her, but she did it. She truly didn’t care if Tara and I were together, so long as we both found happiness.

“I still don’t know what to do,” I said, shaking my head. “Tara has been so hot and cold lately. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth it.”

“Do you love her?” Mom asked.

I jerked my head around at her question. It was a simple question, but my answer was anything but. I did love Tara. That much I knew. But my feelings were complicated. I didn’t know if the love I felt for her was current or a shadow of our past together; a memory that was better left alone.

“Yes,” I finally said. “I do love her, but what if that isn’t enough? What if we’re trying to hold on to something we felt ten years ago?”

“Is that what you think?” Mom asked.

“No,” I said honestly. “I think we could be amazing together. But she needs to think so too. If she doesn’t want this, I can’t force it on her.”

“You’re right,” Mom said. “You can’t force her to be with you, but you can fight for her.”

“How?” I asked.

“Make her tell you what’s wrong,” Mom said. “Push until she has no choice. Don’t let her hide away until it’s too late to make things work between you.”

“What if that just pushes her away even more?” I asked.

“It might,” Mom said, shrugging. “But you won’t know until you try.”

I nodded and fell silent. She was right. I couldn’t let Tara push me away without a fight. I had to at least try to make our relationship work.

There were times, when Tara and I were together, that I knew she loved me. I could feel it in the way she touched me. I could see it in her eyes when she looked at me. It was written in our kisses. She loved me, and I loved her. I wasn’t sure if that would be enough, but I knew she was worth finding out.

Whether Tara was hiding because of Darren or something else, I had to find out. I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t.

“Listen,” Mom said softly. She leaned forward to take my hand. “I’ve seen you and Tara together. I was there when you met her, and I watched you fall in love with her. It was dramatic and intense back then. But you’re an adult now. The two of you can make your own decisions. And honey, I can see how much you love her. It’s written all over your face.”

I smiled, and she squeezed my hand gently.