5 Bikers for Valentines

Instead, I sighed and leaned against my kitchen counter, trying to think of something that might distract me. My mom threw away an old loaf of bread and shoved some old mail into my trashcan. While I watched her, a realization hit me.

“Hey,” I said. “You didn’t see my pain pills last time you were here, did you?”

“Pain pills?” she asked, frowning. “No, I didn’t see any prescription bottles.”

“They weren’t in the bottle,” I said. “I put them in my old matchbox container, so I wouldn’t lose them again.”

“Oh! Crap,” Mom said. “Yeah, I thought that was just junk. I tossed it a few days ago. I’m so sorry.”

I just shook my head and smiled. It didn’t matter. Not anymore. I was glad to know where the pills went but with Tara’s illness in mind, nothing else could upset me. I didn’t care about the painkillers anymore. My leg would survive. But, Tara—I wasn’t sure she would.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO - TARA

Telling Caleb was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do. I didn’t want to but when I watched him walk away from me, I knew I couldn’t lose him. Having cancer was bad enough. Losing Caleb would have been more than I could take.

I still wasn’t sure I believed him about the painkillers. It just didn’t add up. How could someone lose two full bottles of pills in less than two weeks? That sort of thing didn’t just happen, unless the person was using. It wasn’t a stretch. Caleb had been down this road before. As a teenager, he experimented with different drugs. That, along with our relationship, was why Dad and Cathy sent him away.

My stomach was tied in knots all night after I saw Caleb. He wanted me to stay the night but I wasn’t ready. Telling him about my illness was a hu

ge step. My instincts were still screaming at me that Caleb was lying about his medicine. Too much was going through my head for me to stay the night with him.

Instead, I went home and tried to sleep. It wasn’t easy. My night was filled with fitful dreams and uncertainties. I woke up every hour, sweaty and crying. I was terrified that if I didn’t sleep, another headache would arise, but the next morning came without any pain. I stayed in bed for a couple hours, just staring out the window and trying to make sense of my life.

Being sick wasn’t something I ever thought about. I was young, not even twenty-eight yet. It wasn’t right that I would develop some rare form of cancer. Yet, here I was.

Not for the first time, I wished I had patients to take my mind off things. It was my day off, and I knew I didn’t want to spend it in bed. Instead, I got dressed and drove into town. I walked around, sipping an iced coffee and staring into shop windows. The weather was nice, and the stores were full, but nothing was powerful enough to take my mind off things.

I spent the rest of the day hiding out at home, watching movies and avoiding my phone. By the time night fell, I was going crazy. I needed to get out of my apartment and not to walk aimlessly through town.

I jumped in my car and drove to the first place that came to mind: Stephanie’s bar. She was working tonight, but it was the middle of the week, so I knew the place wouldn’t be busy. She would have plenty of time to talk, which was exactly what I needed.

“Hey!” Stephanie said when I walked up to the bar. “What are you doing here?”

“Drinking,” I said and tilted my head. “You pouring?”

“You know it.” She grinned and poured me a shot of whiskey.

She slid it over to me, and I drank it down in one gulp. Her mouth twitched when I silently asked for another. She filled my glass without a word, watching me closely as I sipped it slowly.

“Fuck this week,” I said softly.

“What’s up?” Stephanie asked with a frown.

I sighed and shook my head. I still wasn’t ready to tell her about my diagnosis. My father didn’t know yet, and Stephanie was emotional. She would freak out, and I couldn’t deal with that right now.

Instead, I decided to tell her about Caleb.

“I love him,” I said. “I can’t deny that anymore. I love him so damn much, but he keeps losing his pain pills.”

“Losing them?” Stephanie asked, her eyebrows raised.

“So he says.” I rolled my eyes.

“You don’t believe him?”

“Would you?” I asked.

“I don’t know.” Stephanie sighed and leaned against the bar. “I don’t know him like you do.”