“You’re perfect,” I said. “Absolutely perfect.”
We finished showering and got ready for the day. As we drove to the hospital, I couldn’t stand for Tara to be away from my reach. I held her hand, lightly tracing her skin with my thumb. I didn’t want to let go. Ever.
When we reached the PT building, Tara led the way inside. She was grinning from ear to ear all morning. The night before had been amazing. We were so connected, so effortlessly us. I’d never felt more confident in our relationship, and I knew Tara felt the exact same way. She was happy. So happy I couldn’t stand to ruin it, but I knew I had to. We had to talk about her cancer.
“Listen,” I said as we got to the weight bench. “I know you don’t want to talk about this, but we need to.”
“Not today,” she said. She pressed a finger to my lips to silence me. “Right now, in this moment, I just want to be happy.”
“I know baby, but,” I said before she interrupted me.
“I know we have to talk about it,” she said. “My treatment and everything. It’s going to be scary. This entire process scares the hell out of me, and soon, it’ll be the only thing we talk about. So, for right now, let’s just be here. Together and happy. Please?”
I smiled and nodded, knowing I would never deny her a request like that.
We started my physical therapy session just like the others. Tara helped me stretch out and then got me on the bench. Now that I was mostly healed, my sessions were quick and easy. Tara still pushed me further each time, making me break my limits every time. That was just one reason why I loved her so damn much. She never let me stop or give up.
While my session progressed, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Tara said. She wanted today to be her day of happiness, just one day of blissful peace. I wanted to give her that. I wanted to make this day perfect in every way because she was right, it might be the last truly happy day she had for a while. Once her chemo started, everything would be harder.
I stared at her while she wiped down the weight bench. No one else was in the PT building. It was just us.
Tara looked amazing, just like always. Her blonde hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, falling halfway down her back. Every time she moved, it caught the light and mesmerized me. When she lifted her eyes to mine, they overwhelmed me. I could have stared into their blue depths for the rest of my life.
“What are you looking at?” Tara asked, smiling lightly.
“I’ve been thinking,” I said.
“Yeah?” she asked.
I cleared my throat and walked over to her. I kissed her slowly, wanting the moment to last forever. She sighed and pressed herself against me. When we pulled apart, I blinked at her, trying to remember how to speak.
“What were you thinking?” she asked.
“Everything that happened between us feels like fate, doesn’t it?” I asked. “I mean, we met years ago and fell in love. We weren’t supposed to be together, but we couldn’t fight it. Then, like idiots, we let each other go. I hated myself for ten years and then, suddenly, you’re back in my life. It felt like fate.”
“It did,” Tara said, smiling.
“And I think that’s too strong to ignore,” I said. “We found our way back to each other after a lot of shit went down. That has to mean something.”
“What are you saying?” Tara asked with a confused chuckle.
“I’m saying that I love you,” I said. “I love you, Tara.”
“I love you too.” She smiled and leaned forward, ready for another kiss.
“And I want to marry you,” I finished.
She froze. Her eyes met mine, and she looked at me in shock. She took a step back, stumbling slightly. Her head moved side to side as if she wasn’t quite sure what to do.
“Tara,” I said softly. “I’m serious. This isn’t a joke. I want you. I’ll always want you.”
“Is this because I’m dying?” she asked bluntly.
I laughed and shook my head. “No,” I said. “What the hell kind of question is that?”
“A valid one!” she said, her voice frantic. “You can’t be serious about this.”
I smiled and walked over to her. I grabbed her hands and then slowly lowered myself down to one knee. She stared at me with her mouth hanging open.