“I’m fine.” She was. Really, she was. So why did Stone’s face pop into her mind and doubt fill her heart? She. Was. Fine. “There will be time for slowing down long before I’m ready.” Which squeezed her insides and put things into proper perspective. “Speaking of which, how was Mom today?”
Joyce’s expression tightened. “Not great. Getting her to eat is a major ordeal these days.”
Carly winced. She knew from her own attempts to get her mother to eat. She seemed to have lost the will to live. “But she did eat?”
“She got her feeding tube meals, but by mouth.” Joyce shook her head. “She just doesn’t want anything.”
Carly nodded, knowing the nurse would have done all she could to get as many nutrients into Carly’s mother as possible.
“She struggled to communicate today,” Joyce continued. “Not that she tried saying much, but, when she did, understanding her was more difficult than normal. And most of the day she called me Margaret.”
Carly’s grandmother, who’d passed away years ago.
Taking a deep breath, Carly nodded again.
“But in other news,” the older woman began on a false hopeful note, “Gerald texted to say he picked up ten lottery tickets and one was sure to be a winner this time.”
Rubbing the back of her neck, massaging a knotted muscle, Carly smiled. Joyce’s husband struggled with a lifelong gambling problem. These days, he limited himself to no more than ten tickets in each week’s Powerball lotto.
“He says when he wins we’re gonna put your momma somewhere real fine and move you out of this place.”
Carly shook her head. “First off, I’d never let you do that and, second, I don’t want to move. You know this is where Momma wants to be. I’ll keep her here as long as I am physically and financially able.”
Always. She’d always keep her mother at home. She hoped and prayed.
Joyce waved her hand. “You know what I meant.”
She did. Joyce wanted to help, as did Gerald, to lighten Carly’s burden. But Carly had this. Precariously, but she was making ends meet. She’d worry about sorting out all the tangles and knots later…hopefully, much later.
“Thank you for all you do. Nothing more is needed.” She hoped it never was. “Just you taking care of Momma.”
Joyce made another loud tsking sound. “I don’t do nearly enough.”
“You’re here and that frees me to work without worrying about what kind of care Momma is getting. That’s huge.” As she thought about how different life would be without someone she trusted to care for her mother, Carly’s eyes misted. “If I don’t say thank you often enough, please know how grateful I am that I met you while doing my clinical rotation at the nursing home where you worked.”
Joyce’s eyes filled with love. “You say thank you about every other breath, and you know the feeling is mutual. Gerald and I love you and Audrey.” The woman hugged Carly in a big bear hug, gathered her belongings, and got ready to leave. “Don’t work too late into the night. You have to rest, too, you know.”
Carly nodded. She worked a side job for an insurance company going through medical claims. The more claims she processed, the better her extra pay. While sitting next to her mother’s bed, she’d work late tonight, processing as many claims as she accurately could.
“See you bright and early in the morning,” she told the woman she truly didn’t know what she’d do without.
Carly peeked in at her mother, saw she was resting, and went to the bathroom to grab a quick shower. When she’d finished and was dressed in old gray sweats and a baggy T-shirt, she checked her mother again, then went to make herself a sandwich before logging into the insurance company’s website.
Work waited. It always did.
But when she went back into her mother’s room, Audrey was awake.
“Hi, Mom. How was your day?” Some days her mother would answer. Some days her mother just stared blankly.
“S-same a-as a-always-s.” Although slurred, her mother answered, which made Carly’s heart swell. Did she know who Carly was today?
“Mine, too. Busy, busy, busy. Some of my patients are the same ones I mentioned to you last night, but I did have a couple of new ones.” Carly never gave names or identifying information, but chatted about her patients. She tried to make her stories interesting, to give her mother a link to the outside world as often as she could.
Audrey rarely left the house these days. When she did it was usually to go to a doctor’s appointment.
Before Carly knew it she was telling her mother about walking in on the new surgeon and how he’d been holding his patient’s hand, comforting her.