“Would you tell me if you got pregnant, or would you be too afraid?”
Wow. This was not the direction she would’ve expected this conversation to take. Then she realized her heart had given a little thump of…giddiness…at the thought of having his baby. Not just a baby, but his baby.
What the hell?
Now her heart was racing like a runaway freight train. She drew in a calming breath before answering honestly. “Yeah, I’d be afraid, but I would tell you.”
“Do you really think I’d try to take the baby away from you?”
She shook her head at his wounded tone while working her roller back and forth. “No, not that. I don’t think you would do that any more than you think your dad would. I guess it’s more that I’d be scared because a baby is a huge thing. It changes your entire life.”
She’d witnessed that reality when Mae had Ian, and even experienced it a bit herself on the fringes. There’s nothing she wouldn’t do for her godson.
“Would you want it?”
Asher’s follow-up question lifted her gaze without hesitation. “Yes, I’d want it. The alternatives wouldn’t even be an option for me.”
Relief flashed in his eyes, and she saw his shoulders relax when he shifted back and reached for the last of his burger.
Tilting her head slightly, she asked, “Would you?”
“Oh, hell yes,” he said around a mouthful of food. “No other options for me, either.”
His unhesitating enthusiasm was heartwarming and sexy in a way she never could’ve imagined with food in his mouth. She smiled to herself as she picked up her cookie cutter to start the petals. Her skin prickled when she sensed his renewed scrutiny, but she ignored the heat in her cheeks and kept her gaze down.
He finished eating, drained the last of his beer, then rose to gather together what was left of their mess.
“Do you want kids?” he asked somewhat casually. “Like in general, not because of some oops.”
Her pulse skipped at that question. She loved kids, but never allowed herself to go there in her mind or heart. After all her parents’ divorces, she’d vowed years ago no kids without a husband. Marrying someone she didn’t love wasn’t an option any more than not taking responsibility for an ‘oops’, but did she really need to explain that when Asher already knew how she felt about love?
“That’s not an easy question to answer,” she stalled.
“Sure it is. You say yes or no.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“From right now to how you end up with them isn’t that simple, but whether or not you want them is.”
She needed to say no. “Yes.”
Damn it.
“Someday,” she quickly added to combat a second swell of hopeful giddiness.
“Me, too.”
His affirmation sparked another excited leap of her pulse. Her clients, Jules and Ty, had gotten married and divorced because they’d never had the kid conversation, yet here she and Asher had just had it, and she didn’t even believe in love.
This was getting way too dangerous. And yet resisting him, denying herself…both were impossible.
From beneath her lashes, she watched him toss the garbage, then he walked around her to swipe the dishcloth from the sink to clean the table. When he brushed unnecessarily close on his way back, a heady rush of awareness surged forward with even more force than before. All their talk of babies had her thinking about how to create one in the first place.
Thinking about making a baby with Asher had her body lighting up and tingling in all the right places. A fortifying breath kept her from tossing the cutter and throwing herself at him. Barely. But she had to summon some self-control or she’d shuck her apron and everything else right there.
Imagining that scene made her think of Mae saying she didn’t want that image in her head, and she choked on a giggle.
“What?” Asher asked.