Her heart squeezed hard, intensifying the constant ache that had plagued her since she’d walked away from him. A moment later, she realized she was staring out the window at his house. Again.
A dozen times a day she found herself doing the same thing, longing for a glimpse of him. She’d check her phone to see if he’d sent a text before she remembered it was over. Then she got pissed off that he hadn’t texted. Or called. Or walked across the street to take her in his arms and tell her he loved her.
But that proved her point, didn’t it? If he really did love her, wouldn’t he try harder? Or simply, um, try in the first place?
Instead he’d disappeared, and she’d found out from Roxanna he’d left early for the job in Wyoming.
She shouldn’t care. She tried so hard not to, yet her emotions alternated between bursting into tears at the drop of a spatula and being angry when the littlest thing went wrong—like another batch of batter tasting like crap. Nights were the hardest, when she had nothing to distract her heart as she lay in bed alone, remembering the heat of him wrapped around her, whispered conversations in the dark, the sound of his voice, the touch of his lips.
Breaking things off had made total sense in her head. If she missed him this much now, imagine the devastation further down the road at the inevitable end. It was definitely better now than later—for both of them. She was saving him the heartache as much as she was saving herself.
Do you hear how stupid that sounds?
Yeah, that was her heart telling her head she was as stupid as Asher had said.
But the heart wasn’t any smarter than the mind. He’d told her to trust her heart. Years of watching her mother do that very thing proved following one’s heart led to foolish choices and unhappy consequences.
Better now than later.
She wondered how many more times she’d have to say those words before her foolish heart believed them. As she turned away from the window, she noticed a metallic silver Mercedes slowing down to pull into Asher’s driveway. She recognized Janine Diamond exiting the luxury car, dressed in a fashionable white pants suit and heeled, red sandals. The woman walked to her son’s front door and rang the doorbell, then removed her sunglasses to scan the neighborhood, her black leather bag clutched to her side.
Honor frowned a minute later when she moved to sit in one of Asher’s front porch chairs as if to wait. Did she not know he was away for work?
“Not my business,” she muttered, forcing herself to turn from the window.
Another taste of the batter on the counter prompted a frustrated growl, and she went to go get a load of laundry from the dryer. She forced herself to fold it and put everything away, but once back in her living room, she couldn’t help another look out the window. Mrs. Diamond was still sitting on the porch, her cell phone in hand.
She hadn’t seen or spoken to Asher’s mother since the night of the anniversary party. With the upheaval in his family, they hadn’t done anything with them while they were together. And he hadn’t met her family at all, though she’d been forced to tell Glory about him when her sister and friends made their monthly trip to Lift Your Spirit and discovered her cupcakes in the shop. This morning, she’d had to tell Glory it was over already. She may have even cried, but pretended she’d stubbed her toe.
Another glimpse out the window twenty minutes later took her out the door and across the street before she thought about what she was doing. By then, it was too late because the woman had spotted her. Halfway up the driveway, it dawned on her maybe his mom was waiting because she knew Asher was on his way home.
Her heart thumped hard at the possibility of seeing him face to face. But it was a surge of hope that left her mouth dry, not dread.
“Honor?”
“Good morning, Mrs. Diamond. I noticed you sitting over here and wanted to make sure everything is all right?”
“It’s Janine, please.” The woman glanced across the street to her house. “I had forgotten Asher mentioned you two are neighbors. I came to talk to him, but he doesn’t seem to be home, and he’s not answering his phone or texts.”
“As far as I know, Asher is in Wyoming for a photo shoot.”
“Oh.” Disappointment weighted the word, and her shoulders drooped. “That’s right. I forgot about that, too.”
Despite the flawless makeup and not a dark hair out of place, the strain of the past month was evident in the lines around the older woman’s eyes and her subdued tone. “You’ve been dealing with a lot the last few weeks.”
Janine averted her gaze, her lips pressed together as sadness and distress chased across her features. A lump of sympathy swelled in her throat, and Honor found she wanted to give the woman a huge, comforting hug. Like the night Asher had come home after seeing his half-brother for the first time.
That ache in her chest sharpened once more, and suddenly she he
ard herself say, “Would you like to come over for a cup of coffee?”
Now you’re just torturing yourself with any connection to him.
The offer came out of nowhere. She hadn’t expected to make it, but couldn’t retract it. All she could hope is the woman would politely decline and be on her way.
“Oh, thank you. That would be nice,” Janine said as she rose.
Cringe-worthy small talk about the weather made the walk back to Honor’s house feel like a mile because she didn’t know what else to talk about. She didn’t want to ask about the governor’s campaign because of the family scandal. She couldn’t ask about Celia’s wedding, because last she’d heard they’d decided to postpone it because of the divide between her parents. She did want to ask about Asher, but didn’t know if the woman knew she and Asher had broken up, or even that they’d been dating in the first place.