“You don’t love him back?” Janine asked.
She glanced up to find them both watching her intently. She ducked her head and swirled the tequila some more. “Love doesn’t last. You both know that better than anyone.”
“The right love does.”
Honor stilled her hands and shot her mother a look from beneath her lashes. “Really, Mom? You can say that with a straight face after four divorces?”
“My dear daughter, why do you think I got married four times?”
The guy was rich? You were lonely?
Both sounded hurtful, so she said, “I don’t know.”
“I was searching for my right love. I still am, and I will keep at it until I find it. I want a man who will love me and fight for me when the going gets tough. Not a single one of my husbands did that. Not even your father, I’m sorry to say.”
Her mom had never said anything like that to her before.
You’ve never asked.
Guilt swelled a hard knot in her throat.
Janine sat up straighter, her hazel gaze shifting to her mom. “My husband fought for me. Twice. He’s been fighting for me since the news of his love child broke.”
“Oh, honey, you have to be in love to create a love child,” her mom chided. “Sorry to say, but given what I’ve heard, you can hardly blame the boy or the woman in your case.”
“I don’t blame either of them.”
Honor swiveled her seat toward Janine. “Asher said you both had signed divorce papers the night it happened?”
The woman nodded as she drained her glass and motioned for more. Honor’s mom didn’t lift the bottle.
“Mark came to the house the next day, begging me to work things out. He said he’d never stopped loving me, and asked for us to start over. To give him a second chance.”
“And you gave him one.”
Her slim shoulders lifted in a helpless shrug. “I still loved him. He never told me he’d slept with another woman the night before.”
“And if he had?” Honor asked. “Would you have worked things out?”
“I don’t know.” She looked down at her glass, left hand tapping the side, her ring clinking each time. Her hand paused as she stared down at the large solitaire and interwoven diamond encrusted wedding band. Her fingers shook, and she gripped the empty glass once more. “I honestly don’t know that I would have forgiven him. It would’ve been too fresh.”
“Given what you now know, do you wish he would’ve told you? Do you wish you’d have gone through with the divorce all those years ago?”
Janine stared hard at her ring for a long moment, then she lifted her head, her expression solemn, but no longer lined with stress. “No, I don’t. How could I? We have a family together, five wonderful children, and thirty-five amazing years. Well, thirty-four. That year prior to our decision to divorce was awful. And though there were also some strained times through the years, we’d learned by then how to work hard at our marriage. Unless I take the time to really think about the crappy stuff, the things I remember first are the happy times. Lots of happy times with our kids.” A soft, reminiscent smile took ten years off her face. “The answer is definitely no. I don’t wish for anything to have changed any of that.”
“Do you still love the man?” her mom asked.
“I do.” Tears welled in her eyes as she splayed her left hand against her chest and smiled at the both of them. “With all my heart.”
Honor’s pulse leapt at the same words Asher had said to her a week ago.
“Then forgive him and enjoy the rest of your years together.”
Janine nodded and her mother turned to Honor. “And what about you? Do you love this guy of yours?”
Her heart stuttered before pounding high in her throat. What if she did—would it even matter? He hadn’t tried to contact her all week. What if she was too late? What if he’d realized when she left that he didn’t really love her? What if he didn’t think she was worth fighting for?
All the what if’s were adding up to a mass of fear—the exact fear Asher had accused her of.