“Guns don’t scare me. It’s the person who holds the gun that can be scary.” Realizing what she’d said, she quickly added, “But not you—you don’t scare me.”
“No?” He arched his eyebrows, the tiniest bit of humor playing about his mouth. “Then why are you standing way over there?”
Because for as many times as she’d fantasized about being in the same bed with him, she’d never imagined it would actually happen. The flutters in her stomach were making her nauseous. She thought about asking for his sleeping bag and mat again, but come on, she was an adult. She could handle sleeping in the same bed as the guy she’d been half in love with since she first discovered makeup and boys ‘round about age twelve.
Plus—the floor had sucked last night.
She crossed to the bed without another word. Realizing she clutched her grandma’s afghan like a blankie, she tossed it over the end of the bed and slid between the sheets as Dev got in on his side. He turned out the bedside lamp, then settled down beside her.
Shelby’s pulse thundered so loud in her ears, she was positive he heard it, too. She shifted carefully, afraid to brush up against him.
And then she almost laughed. Here she’d spent the whole day doing her best to get up in his space on purpose, and now she was nervous to move one inch in case her foot brushed against his under the covers.
She lay there, heart pounding, mind whirling, wondering how in the hell was she going to fall asleep?
“What’s the matter?” Dev’s voice rumbled in the dark.
“Nothing.”
“You’re stiff as a board. And you can breathe, Shelby. Relax. Go to sleep.”
Breathe. Good idea.
She concentrated on drawing in a breath and letting it back out. Only she blew it out too fast and needed another one. And her heart was still racing, and her fingers were tingling, and—oh my God, why the hell am I crying?
Next thing she knew, Dev pulled her into his arms, her head on his chest, and his voice in her ear.
“Take a deep breath,” he urged. “Come on, you can do it.”
She sucked oxygen in.
“Now hold it. One, two, three, four. Let it out.”
Once she blew it out, he had her repeat the process.
“Feel my chest.” He inhaled deep. “Do what I’m doing, hold it, count two, three, four. Let it out.”
The soothing tone of his voice, coupled with the steady rise and fall if his chest, helped slow her racing heartbeat so she could think straight again.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, sneaking her hand up to wipe her damp cheeks before resting it on his chest below her chin. “I feel like I have no control over anything anymore.”
He smoothed his hand over her hair, much like when he’d comforted her the night of Loyal’s wedding. “It’ll get better. I promise. This isn’t going to last forever.”
She nodded, and focused on the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat beneath her ear.
The warmth of his musky skin beneath her cheek.
The firm muscles beneath her palm.
It dawned on her she was half-draped over his almost naked body, and suddenly she was afraid to move again. Afraid he’d pull away and reject her all over again.
Breathe.
She wasn’t sure if he spoke out loud, or she simply heard his voice in her head, but she took measured breaths, relaxed, and slowly, finally drifted off to sleep. Somewhere in between, she swore she felt the press of his lips just above her temple.
Chapter 16
Dev met Reyes at the reception desk of the animal hospital fifteen minutes before he needed to leave the next day.