Eventually, Carly wasn’t going to be able to manage and would have to have more help. Either that or put her mother in a nursing home.
She hoped it never came to that.
Sometimes that was the only option. However, she was a nurse. She knew how to provide her mother’s care. Though she just might reach the point where she didn’t have the resources to do so in the manner best for her mother.
If that day came, Carly would have hard decisions to face. Decisions she didn’t know how she’d make.
She glanced at where her mother slept. She now slept more than she was awake. Which could be a side effect of her medications as much as a symptom of her disease. Either way, Carly appreciated the moments when her mother was awake, lucid, and not in horrid pain.
Like earlier that day when they’d been on their stroll.
Although her mother had called her Margaret, she’d enjoyed the fresh air, had commented on the squirrels they’d seen, had told Carly they needed to hire someone to fix the loose boards on the front porch railing.
Audrey hadn’t used the front door in years as her handicap ramp was located on the back of the house, but obviously she still paid attention. The house needed new paint, gutters, landscaping, and a new roof. Just for starters. Every time it rained, Carly feared that that would be the time the iffy-looking roof finally gave in to the weather.
She glanced around her mother’s bedroom at the dingy paint, at the photos of the two of them that hung on the wall, at the dresser that held the same perfume bottles from half a decade ago.
“Wh-what a-are y-you th-thinking?”
Her mother’s words were low, soft, garbled, but Carly’s ears were trained to understand her speech.
“That I should spruce this place up.”
Her mother shook her head. “Don’t th-think y-you n-need to do th-that on m-my a-account.”
“I was thinking more for my account. This place looks exactly as it did when I was in elementary school.”
“I-I’m t-too old for ch-change.”
Interesting. Was her mother saying that because she truly liked being surrounded by the way things had been or because change confused her?
“You’re not that old,” Carly countered, smiling at her mother and wondering if she knew she was Carly or if she thought she was Margaret.
Her mother chuckled, making Carly’s heart swell.
“I-If you’re a-as o-old as y-you feel th-then I-I’m a-ancient.”
Carly bent and kissed her mother’s cheek. “It’s the medicine making you feel that way.”
“I-It’s my b-body ma-making me f-feel that w-way,” her mother corrected. “H-Help me s-sit up.”
Carly did so, raising the head of the hospital bed, then repositioning her mother’s pillows. She fed her mother as much as she could get her to eat by mouth, which was only a few bites, then fed her the specially formulated liquid meal via her feeding tube.
“Is there anything I can get you? Anything you want?” Carly asked her mother that question every day. Her mother almost always gave the same answer, saying she was fine and didn’t need anything.
That day she had Carly’s jaw dropping.
“A g-grandk-kid.”
Carly stared in disbelief. She’d never heard her mother say such a thing. Or even hint at such a desire.
Not knowing how to respond, Carly gave a shaky laugh. “This one may take a little time as I’ll need to find a sperm donor. Plus, there’s that whole incubation-for-nine-months thing.”
Her mother shook her head. “D-don’t do it l-like I—I did. F-find a-a man wh-who’ll st-stick around.”
“Okay, Mom.”
“Th-that d-doctor f-friend, m-maybe.”
“Stone? Er… Dr. Parker, I mean?” Carly gulped and didn’t meet her mother’s still-shrewd gaze. She really shouldn’t have gone on about Stone the other night. No wonder her mother was getting ideas. Especially if Joyce had mentioned Carly going to dinner with him. Carly hadn’t asked her not to, but had hoped she wouldn’t. “I…we’re just friends, Momma, but…he is a nice man and a wonderful surgeon. And kind. He’s very kind. I like that about him.”
There she went on about Stone again. She really needed to stop doing that.
When Carly looked up, her gaze collided with her mother’s. But her mother just smiled and closed her eyes. Within seconds her breathing had evened out, indicating she’d drifted into sleep again, leaving Carly to consider their conversation.
She couldn’t recall her mother having mentioned grandchildren. Not even once. At least not in a manner other than a passing thought that some day Carly would make her a grandma. That had been years ago. Back when they’d both thought Carly’s life would be very different.