“Yeah, well, for most of ’em I was nothing more than a way to pass the time. Fun, but even they recognized there wasn’t much of a future on a run-down farm teetering on the verge of bankruptcy.”
“What about in college?”
He tilted his head toward her. “Seriously?”
Yeah, that had been a dumb question, she realized. He wouldn’t have been able to afford further schooling.
“I learned welding in the Army and had a decent job in Minneapolis after I got out, but I came back to Redemption when my dad got sick. After he died, it’s been a downhill battle ever since.”
“Then why do you stay?”
“I swore to him I’d do what I could to keep the farm in the family. I’m the fifth generation.”
Essentially a deathbed promise. She raised her eyebrows, the answer to his problem obvious. “Then take my money.”
“Your money.” He shook his head rather decisively. “I owe way too much already, and there are some lines I refuse to cross. My dad would understand.”
“Would he understand you jumping with both feet over the big bold line that leaves you homeless?”
Logan’s stubborn expression didn’t budge, and she could tell that was a battle she wouldn’t win. For now, anyway. The urge to bring up his brother again was so strong she had to bite her tongue. Talking to him like this, and actually somewhat enjoying the conversation, was such an unexpected surprise, she didn’t want to rock the boat too much.
“What are you going to do after the foreclosure sale goes through?”
“I’ve got a couple weeks yet,” he said, his tone growing even more defensive. “It’s not like I’ve completely given up.”
“But what if nothing works out?” she pressed.
He met her gaze for a moment, then brushed some hay dust from his jeans. “My old boss in Minneapolis has a spot for me. I spoke to him last week.”
Her stomach dipped at that news. “You’re gonna leave?”
“It’s not like I have anything to keep me here.”
“Um, I don’t know, other than the fact we’re supposed to be engaged?” When his gaze cut to hers, she lifted her palms and gave him a uh, hello? shrug.
“Shit. I didn’t think of that earlier.”
“You’re going to need to now. Gram could be like this for months before…well, before she doesn’t recognize any of us anymore. What’s she going to think if you just up and move to Minnesota?”
His jaw
clenched in that way she was becoming familiar with, making her feel bad for guilting him when he was the one doing her the favor. Because he was right, other than that inconvenience, he didn’t have anything to stay for. His farm would be lost, his parents were both dead, and his brother God knows where.
But still…
“You have a job here,” she pointed out, bothered more than she would’ve expected at the thought of him going away. Heck, they’d only been semi-friendly for a few…well, hours, really. “Grandpa depends on your help.”
His gaze met hers for a moment, then he scooted forward as if he was going to jump down and go. Instead, he sat on the edge of the stacked hay, a hand braced on each side as he surveyed the rain-soaked view outside. “Al and I talked a couple months ago, Joy. He knows I wasn’t planning to stick around.”
So much for him not giving up. “But now—”
Logan cut her off with a lift of his hand and a shake of his head. “I’ll figure something out. I won’t leave you hanging. For now, just leave it be.”
Of course, she should leave it be. It was his life, his decision. By not taking the money, no matter what he said he’d do, he wouldn’t actually owe her a thing. And it wasn’t like what he did with his life mattered to her beyond taking care of Grandma.
Except, it did matter.
She hated that he’d given up on the farm—especially after having heard that song he was writing. The struggle he’d been having with the lyrics made sense now. He didn’t want to admit to himself how much the place meant to him. Clearly, the thought of not keeping his promise to his father bothered him, but pride refused to allow him to accept help.