Say You'll Marry Me
Page 62
“Hi.” Her pulse gave a little leap as he let go and moved forward.
“I didn’t expect to see you this morning. Not here, at least.”
She smoothed her hands over her hips, then clasped them in front of her. “I figured we needed to talk. Or, more like, I need to apologize for last night.”
His gaze touched on hers, then dropped between them as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched.
“I shouldn’t have said the things I said about you giving up,” she continued. “I mean, I know you’ve tried when most people would’ve been long gone by now, and I heard you even went to see Wes.”
His lashes lifted, his brown eyes lit by the morning sun spilling through the open doors. “Everybody in this damn town talks.”
“Tara mentioned it, nothing more.” She took a hesitant step toward him. “The point is, I was deflecting because you hit a little too close to the truth.”
He scuffed the toe of his boot. “Well, then, it seems it would be my turn to apologize. I jumped to conclusions about why you wanted to keep things between us. I took it personally, even though I know trusting someone after Luke is probably very hard for you.”
She must’ve looked surprised at his insight because his mouth quirked up at the corners.
“I’m not completely clueless.”
“Good to know.”
His gaze met hers. Dropped to her lips. She fought the urge to moisten them, and he backed up to lean against a couple of hay bales stacked against an empty stall.
“The honest to God truth is I don’t know what I’m going to do. I had my plans to go back to my old job in Minnesota, but…”
He trailed off, leaving her anxious to know what the but was.
“Wes didn’t have any suggestions?” she ventured, a note of hope lifting her voice.
“If he did, I’d have taken them already.”
She moved closer, her heart pounding as the next question formed on her tongue. “Any chance you’d reconsider a private loan?”
His jaw tightened as he shook his head. She sighed as she turned to mimic his position against the bales. They both stared across the aisle, not looking at the other. Less than two feet between them and yet it might as well have been the Grand Canyon.
“If it’s the leaving part you’re worried about, I won’t do that to you or June.”
Guilt twinged her conscience. Her angst had nothing to do with her grandma. Pure selfishness wanted to keep him with her forever. But was it fair to hold him to a promise he’d made in the spur of the moment out of pity? She twisted his diamond and emerald ring on her left hand back and forth.
Maybe she should release him from the obligation and tell him to go.
The thought put a lump in her throat. “You mention Minnesota, but Grandpa pays you a fair salary, doesn’t he? I don’t see him wanting to let you go if you’re willing to stay.”
“Working for your grandpa while you and I are…whatever we are…I don’t know that I’m comfortable with that.”
Says your pride, she thought with a flare of annoyance. “You’re doing it now. What’s the difference?”
He shrugged, his expression tight and unreadable, gaze downcast.
A feeling of dread crept into her veins. She shifted to face him, studying his profile for some clue as to what he was thinking. “Where does that leave us? What are we doing here, Logan? Are we just passing time until Gram is gone?”
“No.” His gaze remained steadfast on his boots, his voice quiet. “But as we both said, neither of us expected this.”
“What is this?” she pressed. “I know what it is for me, what I’d like it to be, but what is it for you?”
For a moment, she thought he wasn’t going to answer. Her fingers curled into the hay. This talk was getting them nowhere. Then he finally faced her, and a spark of hope ignited.
“What do you want it to be?” he asked.