Rock Hardest (Bad Boy Bandmates & Babies)

Then again, I’d not been so forthcoming, either.

We’d both had secrets to hide.

“I’m so sorry I had to leave so quickly. My sister Flaka needed me.”

“Okay. Why?” I asked.

He guided me over to the couch, and then sat down, patting a cushion.

“Okay, sit down.”

I put my baby-laden ass onto the seat, the leather creaking below.

“You clearly have questions, and I want you to ask them. You may not like the answers, but at least you’ll have them,” he said.

“Okay. I know you went to Norway, and because of your sister. But why didn’t you tell me?”

Varg sighed.

“Listen, I am truly sorry, but it’s not your fault, it’s mine.”

He held my hand.

“I tried to call you. Not before I had left, to be fair. But I called from the airport when I got there. Your phone was off, so I called Ragnar, hoping someone would tell you. I know it was a dick move. I should have done more to contact you, but I was in shock from Mama’s call, and hardly had a moment after that.”

“Because of your sister. Flaka, was it?” I asked.

He nodded.

“Yeah, it’s a terrible thing. Mama isn’t talking to me right now and Flaka isn’t in a position to if she wanted to.”

“What happened to her?”

Varg paused and looked at the ceiling.

He shook his head, slowly, as if coming to some decision internally.

He took my hand in both of his, staring into my eyes.

“She tried to kill herself. Pills. Vodka.”

“Jesus, what happened to her?”

“This is the bit you might not like.”

He looked in anguish.

“I’m ready.”

“Trust me, you’re not. You won’t see me the same way after.”

“You don’t know that,” I said, but I wasn’t sure I was reassuring him, or myself.

“Yes, I do, are you sure you want to hear this?”

He waited. I looked at him, trying to read his emotions. He seemed frightened, but relieved.

I sat back, and removed his hands from mine.

“Yes.”

Varg took a deep breath, and out it came, like ghosts from a long-forgotten crypt.

“I wasn’t always like this. There was a time, not too long ago when you wouldn’t have recognized me. It started when my dad died. Mama was in no fit state for much of anything, so it was up to me to look after Flaka.”

“How old were you?”

“I was fourteen and Flaka was five. She was something of a surprise but no less loved. We grew closer as time passed, Flaka coming to see me as much of a father figure as our biological dad. She barely knew him anyway,” he explained.

“I did my best raise her well and she was flourishing. Like a lot of kids, she started to emulate me. Wanting to do everything I did, particularly in terms of hanging out with the bands, the music, and eventually the metal scene.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“No, you’re right,” Varg smiled. “That was the good part. We had years of fun times, going to band practices, and listening to music. But things really went pear-shaped when I took her to her first real gig. She was thirteen, but looked a bit older. She’d inherited our mother’s looks, and had many admirers. Mostly older boys. I had to chase them away with a stick. Sometimes literally.”

He paused, his face growing dark.

“She had to grow up sometime.”

He looked at my belly.

“Oh, I know, I had no problem with her dating. Particularly with a guy her age who was as oblivious as her. But, this time, at the gig, these guys knew what they wanted and made it clear,” he said, his voice deep with emotion.

My stomach heaved as I realized what he meant. I caught myself hoping it was a really big stick.

“Everything was great at first. The show was awesome, and it was a delight to see her wake up to the glory of live metal. The show went a bit longer than expected. So, we found ourselves walking home into the dark. Flaka was so scared she was holding onto my arm. I told her everything would be okay,” he said.

He sighed.

“Uh-oh.”

“No kidding, famous last words, right? Sorry, I shouldn’t joke but sometimes I have to laugh not to cry.”

Varg took a gulp, then tried to continue, but he just sat there, silent.

“Fuck, what happened, did she get hurt or– no.”

Varg nodded, and I could tell he felt ashamed. He wiped his eyes with his forearm.

“Yes. I never saw them coming. Later, I remembered them from when they came to the door, and I told them what I would do if they came back. One of them grabbed me from behind, holding my arms, as the other wrenched Flaka away. Sh-she was so small he just put her over his shoulder and strolled away. The guy holding me was strong, but I knew something he didn’t.”

Varg smiled, and it was the scariest thing I’d seen in my life.