Now, I just have to make it official.
Juniper is sitting here taking notes and I'm trying not to stare. Usually, it's the bears that I observe, but right now my eyes are fixated on something else: her and her alone.
My life has changed in the space of one week. It's incredible. I thought I might live the rest of my life up here. And now, now I'm ready for anything. Everything. A life with her.
“What are you staring at?” she asks.
I shrug. “I can't help myself. Whenever I'm around you, Juniper, you're all I see.”
“You keep saying things like that and I'm never going to leave this place.”
I walk closer to her and she sets her notepad aside, her pen too. She's bundled up in her fur-collared coat and her brown leather boots. Her hair is curled at the ends today. And she has on more makeup than normal.
I told her I wanted to take her out to a nice dinner after this. And so she's dressed for the occasion, but of course she wanted to do a quick stop at the sanctuary to just observe the bears for a little bit. That's one thing about her I’ve fallen in love with, how well she observes and takes things in. She doesn't just live. She really lives.
“Are you ready to go to dinner?” she asks me.
I shake my head. “There’s just one other thing I want to do first. Since I have you out here.” There are bears roaming all around in the gated area. They're here recuperating from different injuries. And it's a really beautiful preserve. There's hundreds of acres for these bears to roam. And I volunteer here quite a bit. I spend about fifteen hours a week here, mucking their stalls, preparing their food, anything I can do to help the scientists and veterinarians who are putting in the real work. Me, I'm just a farmhand, really.
“What do you want to do?” she asks.
“Well, I know your trip to Polar Bear, Alaska, was just supposed to be nine days, which means your ticket is set for tomorrow to go back home.”
“Yeah, Lemon’s family -- the Rough family -- has their annual Christmas Eve party in Home, WA.”
“And you're going,” I remind her.
“I mean, I wouldn't miss it for anything. They're my family.”
“You know, I think that's wonderful,” I say.
“Yeah, of course,” she says, “but…”
“But what?” I ask, teasing, but she doesn't know that yet.
“I just, you know, like the idea of spending Christmas with you.”
“I spend a lot of time up here in Polar Bear though,” I tell her.
“I know it's your home,” she says.
“I mean, I finished my Patty Cake Polar Bear series. I've been up here five years writing it. I don't think there's much more Patty can do.”
She smiles. “You've been here for five years, and I've been here for eight days. I'm so naive to think I can do my world building justice. I mean, I've already written a whole bunch of books with the bears and I've never studied them properly. I feel like a hack, like a total imposter.”
I press a finger to her lips. “You're imaginative and creative. And you have researched, just not in the flesh. And the polar bears in your stories aren’t actual creatures. They're the size of dragons. They're not real. You created something out of thin air, Juniper. You are a genius.” He’s brushing my hand away.
“You're embarrassing me.”
“All I'm saying is I have five years of experience at this sanctuary. If you need help, I got you.”
“It's just the last two books in the series have to be really good. There’s a lot of scenes with the bears. I just want to get it right,” she says.
I take her hand and lace her fingers with mine. “I love that about you,” I tell her. “Your integrity, how much you care about these stories. That's why I'm offering you my services. All of my services.”
She looks over my body, head to toe. “All of your services. Are we talking every inch of your services?”
I laugh “Every inch.”
“Good!” she says. “Because I don't want to miss out on any of your inches.”
I chuckle. “What am I going to do with you?”
“Hopefully you're going to do a heck of a lot with me,” she says, playfully.
“How were you a virgin just a week ago?” I ask her.
Her cheeks turn bright red. “God, I love you,” she says. “I love us.”
“I love you more, Juniper, which is the whole point of this conversation.”
“It is?” she asks.
“Yeah, it is,” I tell her, “I'm trying to explain something to you.”
“And what's that?” she asks.
“Well, you're leaving town tomorrow. And that kind of kills the holiday spirit. Don't you think?”
“Yeah, it kind of does, but—”
“But your life is in Washington, and whole lot of other places too. I know you have booked tours lined up next year and a bunch of deadlines.”