He was quiet for a moment, just lay there and breathed while Deacon brushed his fingers over the back of his neck, kissed his head, made sure he knew he wasn’t alone.
“You know what happened after that—the army, Nathan, I came out…and I was right. The thing is, if they wanted me back, I’d be there in a second. If they could accept me, it would be water under the bridge. I don’t know if that makes me a coward or not.”
“No, not at all. They’re your family. You love them. There is no right or wrong way to feel. The only thing that’s important is what’s right for you.” Deacon believed that. People put too much stock in how they would react to a situation, when if it wasn’t them, it wouldn’t matter. People were different and complex; they all had their own stories, and they had the right to live their lives however was best for them. That’s what Deacon was doing with Grady.
“As much as I love them, as much as I want that… I’m not willing to sacrifice who I am. I won’t pretend I think there’s something wrong with who I am, with being with you, so if you don’t mind, I’d like you to come with me today. I won’t hide you and what you mean to me, just like you wouldn’t either.”
Deacon’s heart was thudding, his feelings on the tip of his tongue—that he loved Grady, that he’d do anything for him, that he wanted to always be his, but he wasn’t sure it was the right time to say all that. So when Grady tilted his head upward and looked at him, Deacon just pressed his lips to Grady’s instead, tried to let his kiss say all the things he planned to tell Grady soon.
“You’re really doing it up,” Deacon said when they pulled apart. “Not just bringing home a man, but bringing home a Black man.”
“My man, a good person.” Grady rolled on top of him, took possession of Deacon’s mouth again, licked and nibbled, devoured him in a way that made Deacon feel like there was nothing he couldn’t do, nothing he couldn’t conquer.
Right as Grady started rutting against him, there was a knock at the door. He dropped his forehead against Deacon’s and grinned. “I’m scared to death, my damn heart is broken, yet somehow you can make me smile.”
“It’s my best talent.”
“I thought that was your ice cream.”
“That’s a close second.”
Grady got off him, went to the door, and got their food. They ate, took a quick shower to get cleaned up, and then they were on their way.
Chapter 29
Grady
When Grady had come out to his family and they’d rejected him, he’d thought that was the last time he’d ever be in Lilington again, but here he was, staying in a hotel with his boyfriend, about to go see his family for the first time since that day.
There was a small rural hospital close, but they’d transferred his dad to Savannah. He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t thought to stay in a hotel there, why he’d automatically chosen the one closest to home.
Deke drove them to the hospital. Grady was so anxious, filled with so many conflicting emotions, he didn’t trust himself. On the way down, driving had helped, but right now he was all over the place.
“Cat’s going to meet us outside,” Grady said after he texted his sister. They were only a few minutes away.
“Did you tell her I’m with you?”
“No. If she has a problem with it, she won’t make a scene in front of you. That’s not the way they are. They’ll save that to be dealt with between us—family business. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if no one in Lilington knows why I’m never around.”
“Jesus, Grady.”
“Yeah, I know.”
He was less concerned about Cat than the others. While she was still set in her ways and her beliefs, she wasn’t as hardcore about them as the rest of his family.
They parked and got out, heading toward the front of the hospital, where Cat had said to meet her.
Nerves and worry ate away at his insides. He hoped the man he grew up idolizing would be okay, hoped that everything else would be okay as well.
As soon as they rounded the corner, Grady saw her. Cat had lighter hair like their mom, that shade between blonde and brown. She was small, five feet two, but was as tough as they came.
His heart started thumping, blood rushing through his ears when she turned around slowly, when her eyes landed on him, widened, then darted to Deke and back to him.
“Grady? Oh my goodness! Grady, I can’t believe you’re here.” And then she was running to him. Cat flung herself into his arms, and he caught her. It was like she’d forgotten the past ten years had taken place, like she hadn’t cut Grady out of her life just like the rest of them. She squeezed him so tight he could hardly breathe. Her face was in his neck, hot tears meeting his skin as he held his crying sister.