These Thorn Kisses (St. Mary’s Rebels 3)

When I’m done, Callie simply breathes, her hands tight in her lap, her frown thick.

And I let her.

I let her absorb all this information, the months’ worth of secrets. But when seconds and minutes pass without a word from her, I get anxious.

So much so that I can’t stay silent myself. “I know this is a lot. I know that. And I swear I wanted to tell you. So many times. I swear, Callie. I just…” I shake my head, my eyes stinging. “At first I thought he didn’t remember me and so I thought it didn’t matter. And when I found out that he did, I just… I’d hid so many things from you by then and I didn’t know how to tell you. The more time passed, the more scared I got and I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry, Callie. And I …” I sigh, clasping my hands in front of me. “I just love him. I love Conrad so much.”

She finally looks at me, her eyes grave. “Is that why you were so sad? All those months.”

I bite my lip. “Yes.”

“Because he thought he loved… Miss Halsey. And all that other crap.”

“Sort of, yeah.”

Her lips purse. “So he made you cry.”

“What?”

She shakes her head, her fingers fisted now. “My brother, the brother I always thought was so good and amazing and wonderful, made you cry. He made my best friend cry. Because of his stupid stuff. I can’t… I can’t believe it.”

I finally take a seat beside her. “Callie, no. It’s not his fault. Well, some of it is. Like at the end. But he’s not –”

“My brother is an asshole, isn’t he?” she breathes, still shaking her head. “He’s exactly like my other brothers. He’s exactly like Reed. Oh my God, that’s why he hates Reed so much. Because Con is an asshole himself. Oh my God.”

“Callie, no, listen –”

“You know what, I’m going to go talk to him,” she says, ready to get up. “I’m going to give him a piece of my mind.”

But I stop her.

I grab her hands in her lap and say, “Callie, listen to me. Listen, okay? You’re not going to talk to him. Because everything is fine now. It’s all in the past. Whatever happened. And all the stuff that he did, pushing me away and whatnot, he did it not because he’s a bad guy. He did it because he thought he was doing the right thing. And it made me angry, yes. But it’s over now. It’s over. He won’t hurt me. Not like that. In fact, he takes care of me. And I’m really happy, Callie. He makes me happy. And I think… I think I make him happy too. I think I give your brother joy and I really wanted to do that. I really wanted to make him happy and smile and laugh and just make him live his life, you know? And he makes me live mine. He accepts me and supports me and believes in me. He loves me.” I squeeze her hands. “So yeah, everything is fine. I’m just… I just don’t want you to be mad about this. I don’t want to lose you. You’re my best friend and –”

That’s when Callie hugs me.

She hugs me tightly and I do the same.

“You’re not going to lose me,” she says, moving away, her eyes wet. “You’re never going to lose me, Wyn. You’re my best friend too. I love you. I’m just so sad that you never told me. That you even doubted for a second that I’d leave you or be mad at you.”

I swallow, blinking away my own tears. “I guess… I never had a lot of friends before St. Mary’s. I never had people who understood me or who supported me. And I was so afraid that I’d lose it. That I’d go back to being all alone like I was in my town and…”

This time her anger is for my town as she says, “Your parents are assholes.”

The subject of my parents is still painful.

It still twists my heart and makes me cry.

It’s been two months since I walked out of that party with Conrad. And since then, I haven’t heard a word from them. Not during that last month at St. Mary’s. Not even when my finals were done, and the school was over.

I thought my parents would at least contact me then. After the finals I mean. Not to welcome me back home from the dorms – I already knew that they wouldn’t; not after how I left the party with Conrad in front of everyone – but to at least, talk to me or say something about graduating high school.

But they didn’t.

And they haven’t yet.

It’s like I’m dead to them.

I take another deep breath to will the pain away. The utter sadness that my parents would probably never talk to me again. Not to mention, I try to ignore the fact that after everything they’ve done to me and to Conrad specifically, I’m still such an idiot that I miss them.