“Okay.” I sigh, debating whether I should tell him the first thing that came to my mind. “I slept with a married man once...”
He nods slowly and pushes my head against his chest. “How did that happen?”
“How? Don’t you mean, Why?”
“No. Asking why would imply that I’m judging you. How implies that I want to understand.”
“Oh...Well, I was trying to be like—” I pause. “My mom was an escort. It was her career. I honestly idolized her and wanted to be just like her.”
He starts to rub my back.
I squeeze my eyes shut as I reflect. “He was a friend of one of her clients. She told me that he’d come in town unexpectedly and that I should hang out with him while she dealt with the other guy.”
“She also told me that he was loaded and that he would probably pay me a lot if I...you know. So, I did him and it really wasn’t that bad. I liked it, but when he pulled out his wallet to pay me I saw a photo of his family. He had a wife, two sons, and a daughter who looked like she was my age...”
“I felt so guilty, so bad for his wife. I told my mom about it when she came home—after she found me vomiting over the toilet. I expected her to say she had no idea that he was married. I thought she was going to suggest that we have a toast to that asshole and talk bad about him to make me feel better, but she said most of her clients were married and that I didn’t do anything wrong...You sure you don’t want to change that how to a why now?”
“No.”
I lie there in silence, listening to the beat of his heart, wondering if what I’ve admitted is too much.
“Did you ever try to tell your friends that story back then?”
“I didn’t have anybody to tell. Friends were overrated.”
“How old were you when it happened?” He continues to caress me.
“Seventeen...Are you going to ask me how many men I’ve slept with?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t care.” He trails his finger down my spine. “And it doesn’t matter.”
“Five.”
He laughs softly. “It doesn’t matter, Emerald.”
“I just wanted you to know anyway. Just in case...”
“Just in case what?”
“You want to end whatever this is right now.”
He lifts my head and whispers against my lips, “Fifteen.”
“Fifteen?!”
“Are you judging me?”
“Hell yeah, I’m judging you.” I laugh and he laughs with me until we can’t laugh anymore.
When the silence returns, I kiss him and whisper, “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For asking how instead of why...”
He smiles and repositions me so I’m on my side and we’re cuddling again. “Get some sleep.”
“Can you tell me something personal first? Like why you don’t have a job?”
“I do have a job.” He lets out a low laugh and holds me tighter. “But that’s something other people know, not something personally tailored for you.”
“Then tell me something personalized for me.”
“Contrary to what I said at the lake, you’re the first girl I haven’t slept with immediately after a first encounter.”
“That’s a good thing?”
“Yes.” His kisses my neck. “A very good thing.”
Chapter 13
“You haven’t fucked him yet?” Sarah practically loses it. “What the hell are you waiting for? He’s beyond sexy!”
“It’s not me, it’s him. We’ve done stuff, we just haven’t gone all the way.”
“Has he at least eaten you out?”
“What?!”
“Do I need to be proper?” She rolls her eyes. “Has he performed cunnilingus whilst burying his head in your vagina? Did he pleasure thee with his tongue?”
I laugh and stand up as Carter’s car pulls into the lot “Yes, he did. Several times.”
“Is that why you’ve been wobbling on stage so much lately? Is it that good?”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Sparkle.” I put my finger against my lips—signaling for her to shut up since Carter is opening the door right in front of us.
“Emerald.” He kisses my lips before letting me inside.
“Goodbye, Raven!” Sarah calls out. “I hope Carter fucks you with his mouth again tonight!”
I gasp, blushing bright red as Carter shuts my door.
I flip Sarah the middle finger through the window, but she throws it back and mouths, “I love you.”
As Carter drives away, I keep my head turned towards the window—hoping he won’t say anything about what Sarah said. We’re halfway across the first county line when he places his hand on my thigh and says my name.