“I work. It’s my thing, and remember, dating isn’t my thing. We had that conversation before I was coerced into tagging along tonight.”
“I’m not asking you out on a date date,” Beckett lied and shook his head as if Julian weren’t right on the mark. The playful slant of the blue gaze turned Beckett’s way told him that Julian knew he’d fibbed. Beckett let the lie ride as he tucked his hands inside his pants pockets. “You have to eat. I have to eat. Woofer likes me.”
Oh, so much for having game. Even repeating his words inside his head didn’t make them come across as anything more than lame.
“I’m going to let you in on a little secret. One I wouldn’t just admit to anyone. You don’t want to date me. Not really,” Julian said.
“Well, that’s a leap. I just said I wasn’t interested in dating you,” Beckett teased.
“Exactly, but everybody’s interested in fucking me,” Julian chimed in, his sassiness on full display, but this time it came with some seriousness in its undertone. “And I know interest when I see it. I’ve decided with you, that you see something that’s probably not real.”
“What do you think I see?” Beckett asked, pleased that Julian finally allowed him past the walls he erected and wore like body armor in every other situation.
“You see someone like yourself,” Julian answered with all certainty. Beckett burst out with a loud laugh at the ridiculousness of such a thought, causing Julian and Woofer to stumble, looking over at him.
“Right.” Beckett came to a stop. “To set the record straight, I’m certain this is an opposite attracts deal. You’re nothing like me.”
Julian stopped, his spine snapping straight. He gave a slight tug on the leash to stop Woofer. Julian looked offended as he turned and squared off with Beckett. “Again with the curve. You think I’m basic?”
Shit. Whatever Julian thought was not what Beckett meant. Beckett ducked his head, looking over at Julian. What did he say now? Beckett’s shoulders slumped from the weight of knowing his words came across wrong. He wasn’t the player he might pretend to be.
“I didn’t mean…” Beckett stopped speaking and bit his lower lip. His hands fisted in his pockets. “You’re…dazzling, elegant, sophisticated. You walk into a room and take my breath away. I suspect you’re right. Everybody’s interested in being with you. Who wouldn’t want your undivided attention?”
“If you see me like that, then how do you see yourself?” Julian asked, the sincere question lingering in his eyes.
“I’m the average guy,” Beckett answered honestly. “I’m the basic one.”
This time Julian laughed straight at Beckett. “You aren’t the average guy, far from it.” Julian pivoted around and started walking in the direction of the hotel again. Beckett followed.
Several steps were taken in silence, Beckett flattered in the way Julian said he wasn’t average. The warmth was back. Becket’s grin grew as he watched his feet move.
“You said you haven’t been out long. Expand on that for me.”
“I wasn’t comfortable with all this,” Beckett said. “It took me some time to reconcile it all. Then longer to go public. My friends and family were surprised. I hid it well.”
“So, none of that NOLA wild free love inside you?”
Beckett chuckled. Julian had to be talking about his mother’s side of the family. He never spoke of her. People didn’t get and often judged him on her way of life, but he’d freely told Julian. “I guess not. When I was younger, we lived in New Orleans. I was exposed to quite a bit before my father and I moved to Northern California. I had no problem with others being gay. I just always figured I’d have a big family, a wife, kids of my own. I was an only child. I wanted a big family. Make sense?”
Julian barked out a laugh, startling Woofer who nudged Julian’s leg as if to check that the man was okay. “No, I don’t understand wanting that way of life at all. I was the oldest of a pack of kids and couldn’t wait to get out of that intense, controlling family dynamic. I’ve always known I was into guys. I kissed my first boy in kindergarten. I set up my first orgy in third grade after Sunday school—at the time, I thought that meant three boys kissing each other. Which was hilarious now that I think about it. I charged a dollar for our friends to watch. I made twelve bucks that night. I smoked pot for the first time at church at eleven. Had sex for the first time with a boy at fourteen, in that same church.” Julian looked over at Beckett and waggled his brows, completely comfortable with the outrageous truths he tossed out. “My point is, I’ve been out my whole life.”
“Have you always been this open?” Beckett asked with a grin.