It's Complicated: A Reservations Story

But Beckett had committed to Julian’s training. He made a strong effort to drive his points home, to instill the muscle memory needed so that Julian wouldn’t freeze. They focused on the handful of super-effective self-defense counter moves that were proven successful when used to fend off a would-be attacker. He and Beckett went over each one several times now. With enough practice, they would become second nature.

Julian’s problem right now, though, didn’t stem from the boredom born of repetitive tasks. But instead, if he were truly going to cement these practices into his subconscious, it probably wouldn’t come from Beckett St. Clair being his teacher.

It took at least ninety percent of Julian’s concentration to ignore all the tingly feelings Beckett brought out in him. His body sprung to life in anticipation whenever Beckett touched him, technically the exact opposite of the response they were trying to accomplish.

How could he push the man away when all he wanted in the world was to bring Beckett closer?

He was hyperaware of the man. Too much so.

Maybe the whole problem stemmed from having to do these exercises over and over with Beckett’s big, hard cock—the very one outlined so enticingly in those shorts—pressed snugly against Julian’s back and ass. Yeah, way too distracting to pay attention to anything else. His body hummed excitedly, and his imagination ran wild under the pressure of all the sexual chemistry simmering between them.

Honestly, what right-minded person would expect Julian to push Beckett away when every single one of his instincts wanted those brawny arms wrapped tightly around him. The idea that Beckett was attracted to him for something more than sex… Well, it just made everything in his life feel a little bit easier.

If Beckett genuinely wanted Julian to feel safe, then he’d stay right by his side, guarding him against any future danger. It didn’t seem like that would be too much of a hardship at all.

Other than that, this exercise in self-defense was turning into a giant motherfucking nightmare. He suspected the enormous cock in Beckett’s shorts might be causing him a bit of trouble too. Especially since Beckett still hadn’t realized Julian had walked away. Odd, since Beckett had always tracked all of Julian’s comings and goings.

To his utter delight, Beckett busted a move, slinging his arm and foot forward as he circled around. When it didn’t make contact, he gave such a look of confusion while executing the perfect three-quarter turn by pivoting on the ball of his foot to stay upright. When he landed, he dropped into a combat stance, making an almost silent chuckle slip from Julian’s lips.

When Beckett’s surprised gaze finally found him, Julian grinned, leisurely kicking his feet, teasing Beckett. Both Beckett’s hands lifted in the air in a what-the-hell gesture as he said, “What’re you doing? We’re supposed to be working.”

Julian didn’t immediately reply, because it seemed answer enough that he was now sitting on the table. When Beckett’s hands fisted on his hips in frustration, Julian reached for his cell phone lying nearby. He tapped the side button and took a picture of the beautifully rugged man. He quickly glanced down at the screen to make sure the picture turned out correctly. Then he adjusted the phone as if Beckett could see the screen from so many feet away. “Can you pose again? It’s a little blurry.”

When Julian turned his cell for the new picture, Beckett had to fight a grin as he playfully stalked toward Julian. “What the hell, Cullen?”

“What the hell, Cullen,” Julian mimicked, snapping another picture even though it would most certainly turn out blurry. “Can you guess how many times I’ve heard those exact same words in my life?” He lifted a hand, stopping Beckett from answering as if he’d planned a guess. “It’s too many to count.”

Beckett’s easygoing nature persisted. His patience seemed worthy of sainthood. Beckett teasingly shook his head as if Julian amused him by failing to understand why they were there. He came to a stop within two feet of Julian, business still on his mind.

“We have fifteen minutes left. You’re doing great. Let’s go over it again…”

Julian interrupted with a raised hand to finish his sentence. “Preparation and repetition are the ways to compensate for the fear and flight response…”

Beckett cutely pressed his lips together, showing hints of exasperation. Julian really liked that look a lot and decided he had it in him to bring that look forward many times over.

“I never said that—” Beckett started, wrinkling his brow in confusion.

“Yeah, you did, but my counselor says it more succinctly than you.” Julian gave a knowing wink for emphasis.

“You had an appointment with her this morning, correct?” Beckett asked.

“Yeah.” Julian nodded. “How old are you?”

Beckett’s face went through a range of expressions as if trying to follow Julian’s train of thought. Julian lifted his water bottle and squirted a good portion directly into his mouth as he gave Beckett the time he needed to shift gears. Beckett’s single-minded focus on the business of training Julian was respectable, but Julian scored master-level good at evading topics he’d rather not discuss. His counselor topped the list of unapproved topics.