It's Complicated: A Reservations Story

“I’ll get there,” he muttered, turning toward Julian, stopping in his tracks to watch the swagger Julian used as he walked toward him. His grip tightened as Woofer tugged on the leash. “Place,” he commanded the dog, never turning away from Julian.

What Beckett wouldn’t give to have Julian sauntering toward him in just this way with that seductive sway of those hips only for his benefit. Where Beckett would have a right to reach out and kiss those pouty lips or gather Julian’s hand in his as they walked to the parking lot to leave together. Where he could take his man home and take care of him after his long shift at work.

Beckett knew his life would be complete if Julian were in it.

Julian’s gaze went to the dog, who instantly settled and came to stand close to Beckett’s side, awaiting further instruction.

“How do you do that?” Julian asked.

“They’re universal commands. He’s a support animal. He should be trained to adhere to the commands. They didn’t give you any instructions when you got him? They should have at least sent you to a special class so you could learn together.”

Julian came to a stop in front of him. So close, the spicy scent of Julian’s cologne mixed with the sea breeze and fresh night air.

Julian burst out in laughter, reaching for the leash. “Of course, you would know something like that.” The teasing tone drew a smile from Beckett. Not offended at the nice-guy image Julian always had about him.

“You’re thinking along the lines of Dudley Do-Right again, right?”

“Not much gets past you.” Julian took the leash and handed Beckett the burger they’d saved for him hours ago. All those sweet feelings resurfaced as he took the food, pleased Julian had remembered something so trivial.

“Buying me dinner was thoughtful of you. I hadn’t eaten,” he said as Julian circled around him and started for the parking lot. He easily fell into step beside Julian. His exhaustion fled; being near Julian always made him feel energized. He wished they would slow down, take their time. He loved these unguarded moments.

“You’re starving every time I see you. When do you eat?” Julian asked.

“Escape has a huge breakfast buffet. I hit it before class starts. I eat like it’s a horse trough,” Beckett said teasingly as they walked. “We provide a box lunch for our classes. I eat that as I prepare for the afternoon session. It’s the sleeping I’m not doing very much of.”

“We don’t have to continue with the training.” Julian’s steps slowed as he turned his concerned gaze toward Beckett.

He chuckled and kept going, slowing his steps for Julian to catch up. “That’s the thing I want to do the most.”

Julian gave an exasperated sigh. The same one Beckett had heard several times from the man. “You know, I’d decided you had a mental illness or something else just as concerning until it hit me; you’re doing all this because you feel sorry for me.”

“What?” Had Beckett heard Julian correctly? He stopped dead in his tracks. “Of course, I don’t feel sorry for you.”

Julian continued another few steps, shoulders tense until he finally faced him. The briefest hint of insecurity lurked behind those vibrant blue-green eyes. He fought the urge to pull Julian against him and chase that doubt away.

“I’m sincerely sorry for what happened to you. I hate it and wish I knew you back then so I could have been there for you. I’m hurt and angry for what you’ve been through, but I’m in awe of you.”

Julian’s face went through a range of emotions until landing on a familiar look Beckett knew well. Julian’s smirk always gave him away. They were back to Beckett being mentally ill. He disagreed. Still incredibly tipsy, his brain misfired on several cylinders, but insanity wasn’t in his top one hundred most prevailing issues. His deepening desires for this man took all the top spots.

Luckily, Julian didn’t say what was so clearly on his face. They walked together toward Julian’s car. If he read the sudden silence correctly, he suspected Julian had resurrected some of those walls between them.

From the minute he’d decided to pursue Julian, he’d considered their destiny to be more a journey than a moment. Never more true than right then, but damn, panic edged in at the idea of losing any ground he’d gained.

Julian unlocked his sedan, opening the back door for Woofer to jump inside. When the door firmly shut, Julian reached for the driver’s door and turned back to Beckett, giving him the Boy Scouts hand gesture. “You did your duty.”

Instinct more than reason guided Beckett into action. This could either change the dynamic of their relationship again or cause Julian to fully back away from him. He didn’t know the right thing to do, but he couldn’t let Julian leave without saying something. He placed his palm against Julian’s door, gently closing it. Julian’s perfectly arch brow raised.