“We’ll take it easy,” Thomas reassured, misreading Julian’s hesitation.
Beckett. The name reverberated through Julian’s mind like an echo in a deep canyon.
Beckett had imprinted himself on Julian. He was in every thought Julian had, but his life goals hadn’t changed. At a minimum, Julian needed to have a conversation with Beckett before he made such a move. It was only fair.
“Let me tell you what,” Thomas said, in negotiation mode. “The Foundation Gala is next weekend in LA. Be my date like you used to be. It’s a masquerade ball. Go with me. We’ll see if the chemistry is still there between us.”
Chemistry? What a silly notion. Thomas was a client. Julian had worked hard to build the connection they shared. Thomas liked to play the high roller, and Julian had pulled a mint of cash out of the guy. The inner struggle raged. Right versus wrong. Good versus bad. They all battled against his newfound awareness. He’d always done really well at the gala, discreetly gaining new clients from the hordes of wealthy men who attended the event.
He found himself nodding as he asked, “Black tie?”
“Yes. Tuxedo and mask.” Thomas squeezed his hand, looking pleased with himself. “I can arrange those for you. My buyer will be in touch. Is your number the same?”
He shook his head. Julian had changed his phone number after the accident. Cell phones were so easily trackable these days. He didn’t want to worry whether his attacker could use that information to find him. “No. I’ll text you my number in the morning.”
“Good. I’ll send a jet to pick you up,” Thomas said, then convincingly added, “I promise, no pressure, but the hotel is booked. You can stay in my suite.”
“Twenty thousand dollars,” Julian said the obscene total with more confidence than he had. With that much money, he was certain to be performing in many different ways.
Thomas laughed straight out loud. “Always so sure of yourself. Deal, but for that amount of money, I want in that ass. You and me, no one else.”
Julian nodded his confirmation then took another much smaller drink. He turned in his seat, pretending interest in the dance floor as the heat crept up his neck. He told himself, his uncertainty only had to do with Beckett. He had to always remember that he’d promised Beckett nothing. Nothing. He had even gone so far as to reiterate his hesitation in committing many times over.
Surely, at some point, hopefully soon, he would begin to feel good about this decision. How could he say no to getting back his old life when it was the exact thing he’d fought tooth and nail for? He couldn’t.
Thomas’s hand came to Julian’s shoulder. He gently squeezed as he bent forward to whisper in Julian’s ear. “You’re always so damn elusive. You’ve made me happy tonight. Let’s see how it goes, but in the meantime, come up with a number that will allow you to leave all this behind and be exclusive to me.” The palm squeezed his shoulder again. This time a chill crept down his spine. “I’ll be back. I’m going to call my assistant to get you set up.”
Julian nodded automatically, wondering how this simple conversation had taken such a hard turn. Why wasn’t he more excited? This was exactly what he’d wanted. He’d mourned the loss of his past life from the second he’d woken up in that hospital room.
Beckett…
Fuck.
The sweet, gentle wolf of a man who loved Julian in every possible way.
Of course, Beckett hadn’t said the words but only because Julian hadn’t wanted to hear them. Where Beckett may not have spoken the sentiment aloud, his actions showed the loving relationship just waiting in the wings for Julian to accept.
Julian’s heart gave a twist at the pain he was about to cause Beckett.
This had been the reason he’d always been upfront, but the situation still felt off in his soul.
“What are you doing, boss?” Ricco hissed. Julian hadn’t even noticed his approach. He could hear the concern and recrimination in the manager’s tone.
“Mind your business,” Julian responded, never looking over at Ricco.
“I would’ve normally done exactly that before my boss…” Ricco hedged as he came to stand right in front of Julian, forcing his gaze up. “…found me and every other server in this room and taught us to look out for each other. That we’re a family. Over the last month, I’ve never seen you so good and happy. So again, what are you doing, Julian?”
His back stiffened, ramrod straight, even as he understood the love and respect Ricco was using, only looking out for Julian’s best interest. “Mind. Your. Fucking. Business. I do what’s best for me.”
“You’re fucking up and self-sabotaging,” Ricco shot back, putting his fists at his waist. “And I can see you’re determined to go through with whatever you just planned. Tell Beckett. He’s a good man and deserves the truth.”