He wags his head. “Honey, do you think I have a choice? Captain is one of them, and I can’t fly worth a damn to get us off this rock. I could kill you, but it wouldn’t do a damn thing for me.”
“Hey, you went to flight school, right?” Hugh asks.
I grab him and pause. “Guys, I can’t fly one of those things. It’s nothing like the old rockets. The entire system control panel is different.”
“Exactly,” Hugh says. “You won’t have to work as hard. The new systems are a piece of cake to operate.”
I think back to the car crash. Suddenly, I feel the wind whip through the open windows. I can see the steering wheel shift toward the curb of the freeway.
We’re moving too fast.
“Mom!” I scream.
We’re flying through the barrier.
“Dad!”
Our car doesn’t have thrusters. There are no rocket engines attached to this hun
k of metal. We’re going down, and it’s nothing like the videos they show in school.
It’s nothing you can imagine.
When our car hit the concrete, my life didn’t flash before my eyes, but the talcum powder from the air bag did.
And then there was the screeching metal, the crash that blasted like a cannon against my eardrums. I felt all of that.
It became a part of me.
I remember expecting to hear screams or sirens, anything to shoot my adrenaline into the sky. But once it was over, I just sat there with my seat belt on.
I looked straight ahead at the damaged seat in front of me. Blocking out all of the bad, I found a way to become numb. I acted like nothing happened.
I’m not going through that again.
“I can’t fly our starship home,” I say.
“Why the fuck not?” Roy asks.
“Because I…” I take a deep breath and exhale. “I’m not strong enough.”
Roy bites his upper lip. “Well, I will need you to be strong for me. Otherwise, we die.”
I’m falling back into that numbness again.
“Naomi? You hear me?” Roy asks.
Ever since I left to help the crew, everyone has expected the world from me. I have been questioned, held against my will, and interrogated by my own people.
Yes, Turin took me. But he saved my fucking life.
I miss him more than I’ve ever missed someone before. Maybe even more than my family. It’s hard to quantify. I built a bond with Turin. A real bond.
I nod, but I’m not sure I can fly us out of here. Not without fuel. Not without proper training. If Turin doesn’t find a way back to me, I’m not sure I’ll want to leave.
I’d stay for him.
“You’ll do it?” Hugh asks.