False Gods (Sins of the Father 2)

Something creaked. It was the door to my hut, light spilling in as it swung open, and I lifted my hands to shield my eyes, exactly like a vampire. Everything hurt, and even just the touch of sunlight on my eyeballs was like being beaten in the head with a baseball bat. I dug my fingers into my sweaty temples, willing my headache away. I promised myself that I was going to find where Raziel kept all his precious designer clothes. Note to self: bring kerosene, and a box of matches.

The sudden intrusion of light faded as heavy feet plodded towards me. I focused on the threshold, smiling when I saw Priscilla the gorilla shutting the door behind her. She shambled to my bed, dressed in her pink apron, her lips arranged into the world’s most endearing smile.

A spasm went up from my stomach and I twisted in the sheets again. It didn’t happen very often, but whenever I felt really sick, or in pain, part of me just really wanted my mom to be around, to wipe the damp strands of hair off of my forehead, to pat me on the back of my hand and tell me things were going to be okay. In a strange and unexpected kind of way, it felt like Priscilla was filling that role, just the tiniest bit.

“Ook,” she grunted, holding out her hands. “Ook, ook.”

It was a freshly split coconut, its milky white juices sloshing tantalizingly in its half shell. I licked my lips at the sight of it, pushing myself off the bed carefully.

“Can I – should I even be drinking this?”

“Ook,” Priscilla repeated, pushing the coconut into my hands. Its shell was smooth and cool against my skin, like she’d taken the time to soak it in a river – or, more likely, retrieved it from one of the refrigerators Artemis had us haul into the domicile. Priscilla lifted her hand to her lips, mimicking sipping from a bowl.

Florian nodded. “You know, coconut water is actually really well known for its nutrients and its hydrating properties. You need to replace all those fluids you’ve been losing. Gotta get those electrolytes, and coconuts have a ton of them.”

Priscilla nudged her head at him. “Ook,” she said, in a way that sounded vaguely like “This guy knows what’s up.”

So I took the coconut, sipping slowly, at first, then downing its contents over the course of a delicious, refreshing half minute. The fire burning in my body was dying a slow and tasty death. I rubbed my forearm across my chin, wiping off the stray drops of juice that had spilled there, then gave a long, happy sigh.

I grinned at Priscilla gratefully. “You know, that does hit the spot. I feel a little better.”

“Great,” Florian said. “Now get up. We’ve got work to do.”

My muscles drooped, and I fell immediately back into bed, one hand still clutching an empty coconut. “But I’m tired,” I said, drawing out the word, whining at the ceiling.

“No. Mason Albrecht, we have a commitment. We need to go see Beatrice Rex about a purse.”

My nose wrinkled. “Screw Beatrice.”

Florian sighed. “Hah. I wish.”

I looked at him and giggled – which, in retrospect, was a weird thing for me to do. I had to chalk it up to my illness. “Somebody’s got a crush.”

It was hard to really tell in the dimness of the hut, but I was pretty sure Florian was blushing. “That’s not – you’re being a child. Little brat. Priscilla. Plan B.”

“Ook.”

I made my body as heavy as I could, clutching the underside of my mattress as Priscilla cracked her knuckles and approached me. “Plan B? What the hell is Plan B?”

All the strength left in my body plus whatever extra power my nephilim blood gave me did jack squat. Priscilla picked me up like a rag doll, throwing me over her back like a bundle of wet spaghetti. My stomach connected with her massive shoulder as I landed there and I very nearly spewed again.

“Put me down,” I yelled. “If this is Plan B, I don’t even want to know what Plan A was. Priscilla, come on, put me – ”

“We have a commitment, and we’re going to keep it,” Florian interrupted sternly. “We need to sell wine to Dionysus so you can afford your damn invisibility thong, but we need Beatrice to lend us a magic purse to transport the wine in the first place. This is all about you, Mace.”

“Couldn’t this wait until tomorrow?” I placed both my hands like a visor over my eyes as Priscilla kicked my door open, carrying me out into the sunshine of Artemis’s domicile. “You’re only in a rush because you want to see lover girl again.”

The green of Florian’s eyes went so much darker. “Priscilla.”

“Ook?”

“River.”

My fingers clawed for purchase, digging into Priscilla’s hide, desperately clenching for dear life. I always knew that she was no ordinary gorilla, but the strength she demonstrated that day really sealed it for me. Priscilla hurled me like a sack of lumpy potatoes, and the wind whistled in my ears as I sailed through the air. It was just like flying, which made my stomach burble all over again.

I made myself another promise, just before my face hit the water. Next time I saw Raziel, I was going to shave his fucking head.

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