False Gods (Sins of the Father 2)

“Because that worked out so well the last time,” I hissed. “Chill out, the two of you. Look at it. It’s not trying to bite me or anything.”

Which was somewhat hard to tell considering the Cubes had no perceptible mouths or – well, any other features, apart from being small six-sided things. This one felt like it was clinging onto my pants leg, almost like a cat, or a puppy. I lowered my head, studying its glossy, somewhat gross outer membrane when it made a sound like a dog whining.

“Let’s just kill it,” Sterling said.

The Cube turned over on itself, rolling lumberingly into place behind my shoes.

“Sue me for saying this, but it’s kind of cute.” I bent down, sitting on my haunches to give the creature a closer look.

“Mason, what the hell are you doing?” Florian tugged on the back of my jacket. “It’s going to eat your face.”

I shook my head. “No. This one’s different. And there are none of the others left for it to turn into that stupid mega-monster. It’s the last of its kind, and it’s not angry. It’s not trying to kill us.”

Wondering what the hell I was doing, I reached out gingerly for the Cube, knowing that its membrane probably felt like the surface of a bowl of jello. The translucent whiteness of its fleshy body pulsed once, then turned into a deep, oak brown, like wood. I prodded it with one finger. Nope, definitely wood, just like how every Cube was supposed to look when it was brought into someone’s home.

“You scared it,” Florian said.

“I think that’s just a defense mechanism. It’s trying to blend in, sort of like camouflage.” I picked it up in both hands, cradling it against my chest, somehow completely unafraid of it unhinging its heretofore unseen jaws and biting my entire head off. I looked up at Sterling, batting my eyelashes. “Can we keep it?”

“First of all, I don’t live with you, so do what you want.” Sterling sheathed his katana, then in one smooth motion, lit his first cigarette of the evening. “Second of all, it’s your funeral.”

Florian shrugged. “It’s not sleeping in my hut.”

“He won’t,” I said, tucking the Cube under my jacket so no one would notice when we snuck out.

Sterling cocked his eyebrow at me. “Oh, it’s a ‘he’ now, is it?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe. Does it matter?”

He shook his head. “The only thing that matters is that you feed it, clean up its boom-booms, and make sure it doesn’t chew up the furniture.”

We walked into the night, just me, a vampire, an alraune, and my new pet – um, whatever it was.

What could possibly go wrong?

39

“It’s a mimic.” Artemis poked a finger into the side of the Cube, grimacing when it slid in a little too far. “Loki must have found some way to mass produce them and bind them to his will. And you’re right, these things have no gender. But I don’t think it minds very much what you call it.”

I scanned quickly through the textbook that Artemis magicked out of the air and handed to me, looking for a ‘care and feeding’ section, disappointed when I found none. Mimics were exactly

what they sounded like, organic oddities that could camouflage themselves as practically anything. The caveat was that they could mostly only copy inanimate objects.

“This white, fleshy body it’s wearing appears to be its juvenile form. You know, like larvae? Normally it should look a little wooden, especially when it reaches adulthood, but it’s dropping its defenses around us. Kind of like when a cat shows its belly to you.” Artemis scritched the Cube on – well, on one of its six sides, I guess. “It’s a sign of trust. Isn’t it, you little cutie?”

The mimic’s jelly-like surface rippled, which I suppose in mimic-speak meant that it was happy.

“In time I think it’ll take a form that it’s more comfortable with, because this is really like the thing walking around without a carapace. Back in the old days, sorcerers hid these guys around their dungeons as booby traps. Great deterrent for thieves.” Artemis laughed, stroking along the top of the mimic’s surface. “You think you’re rummaging through a cabinet or a treasure chest, then wham! Out of nowhere it slams shut on you. Also, it has teeth. Also, it just ate your arm all the way up to the elbow.” She wiped a finger under her eye and slapped her thigh. “Good times, man.”

“Okay.” I handed the book back to her, maintaining eye contact the entire time. “But I can keep it, right?”

Artemis shrugged. “No skin off my back. Might be some skin off yours, depending on whether you train it not to eat you.” She slapped her thigh again, chortling. “Holy shit, why am I so funny? But seriously, make sure it doesn’t develop a taste for human flesh.”

“Oh.” I cast a suspicious glance over the squishy little box as it wriggled across the ground. “Um, I’ll be sure to look out for that, then.”

“Because technically, you’re the only human who actually lives here.”

I looked around her home dimension, smiling at the sight of my friends, our slowly growing family. She was right, too. Artemis was a deity and didn’t qualify. Neither did Priscilla, a goddess of the kitchen and the culinary arts living in the body of a gorilla, as far as I was concerned. Florian was half human as well, but he’d spent so much time hibernating, so oblivious of the modern world that he sometimes still felt like a relic from a different age. I guess I understood why he lied to make himself seem older.