When We Kiss

Your mom? Are you kidding?

Tightness is in my chest. She wants to know about Oceanside. You know it better than me.

Your mother and me sounds like a bad idea.

Rubbing my chin, I can’t let her back out. I can keep things light. Just give it a shot. Tomorrow, seven, Blue Crab?

I never pass up an expensive dinner. Meet you there.

I hesitate a moment, then just fucking type it. I’ve missed you.

A few moments pass. I think she’s done. She’s not going to respond. I’m about to put my phone down when it buzzes. I’ve missed you, too.

That’s all I needed to know.

Twenty

Tabby

My third ad is up on the job boards for website developers. I haven’t stopped thinking about Rani and AJ’s offer since they made it.

Most of the week I’ve been focused on streamlining Travel Time. My sleep habits have been irregular. I go to sleep with my laptop in my bed, then I wake up and stagger into the living room to work on my desktop.

The soft launch went off without a hitch, thanks to me busting my ass then staying up all night Wednesday while friends and family trickled onto the site to poke around, build trips, customize, test out chat functions, watch videos, read reviews.

We only had a few glitches with the reservation search function. The website wouldn’t hold dates, and visitors had to keep re-entering them.

I spent the last two days ironing out annoying problems that would ultimately lose customers. Today’s tech users expect speed and ease.

Now, three days later, we’re still getting raves. Everyone’s talking about how much fun the site is to use. How they can’t wait to boo

k their next trip with us. How excited they are about making their travel dreams come true.

It’s exactly what we want to hear, and as soon as I logged off, ready to put the site to bed, I started updating my résumé. If I’m going to say yes to Travel Time, I have to be sure it’s what I want. I have to be sure I’m not giving up a chance at another offer, a better offer…

My brain has been like a computer with programs running in the background all week. Only the program running in the background is my life. Three days have gone by, and no one has responded to my job posting. Logically, I can’t tell Rani and AJ no if nobody else wants to hire me.

Logically…

Illogically, my stomach is in knots and I’m not sure I can say yes even if I don’t get another offer.

As much as I’ve tried, I can’t stop thinking about Chad and how he fits into all of this. I shouldn’t. It doesn’t make sense. We barely know each other. I can’t make important life decisions based on something that could end up being a fling.

I’d be like one of those girls who follows her high school boyfriend off to college then breaks up in the first month. Then she’s left wondering why she’s in Alaska majoring in Wilderness Studies when she really wants to be in New York majoring in Fashion Design.

This is my life, my career, the dream I’ve been working on for a year. I can’t let some guy derail it, no matter how thoughtful he is or how good he is in bed.

Ugh! No matter how many excuses I throw at it, the truth patiently waits to be acknowledged. Despite my annoying uncle’s speech, I really miss Chad.

Sitting on the floor of my cottage with my knees bent in front of me, I allow the feelings I’ve been holding back to rush in on me like a tidal wave.

I miss him so much.

I miss his strong arms around me, that deep dimple in his cheek, those whiskey eyes. I miss being naked with him. I miss kissing him. I miss his lips on my body and that beard scuffing my skin. I miss chatting about work and Coco and traveling and dreams. I miss Andy…

My hand goes over my eyes, and I exhale a laugh as tears fill my eyes.

“Oh my God.” My voice cracks. “What am I going to do?”