I almost swallow my gum. “A penis.”
“Yes!” Roxanne starts to laugh. “It was the funniest thing I’d ever seen. I mean, it was perfectly decorated and very appropriate, if you know what I’m saying.”
I’m almost afraid to ask. “So you’re suggesting Emberly should start making penis cakes… for Hedonism?”
“No! Pfft. You silly girl.” She waves her hand, rolling those heavily lashed eyes. “I’m talking about doing them here! For bachelorette parties or anniversary parties or girls’ nights. Or hell, do we have any of the gays in Oceanside? I’m sure they’d just love a penis cake. The boy ones anyway.”
Jesus, take the wheel. “You know, they always forget to wear their rainbow badges when they go out. Those silly gays.”
Emberly snorts, but I’m holding my face steady. I’ve never met anybody so utterly clueless… Okay, that’s not true. I look at the old lady salivating next to Roxanne.
“Never mind them. What do you think?” Betty Pepper is practically jumping up and down with glee.
“I think it’s up to Emberly to decide if she wants to make penis cakes. Right here in town.”
My best friend is shaking her head, and I just shake my head right back at her.
“I tell you what,” she finally says. “If I get an order for a penis cake, I’ll see if I can figure out how to make one. Until then, I’m not putting it on the regular list of options.”
“Ha ha! There you go!” Betty slaps her hand on the table. “I told you she’d be open to the idea. Now we’ll get you a little side business going, bringing in more money for you and Coco. You can charge extra for adult items.”
“Thanks.” Emberly’s voice is the opposite of grateful. “Y’all have a good night now. Thanks for stopping by.”
“Come on, Roxie, now that that’s settled, we have to hurry. We’re going to be late for church.” Betty hurries to the door, but Roxanne stays beside me.
“You know, Tabitha,” She places a manicured hand on my arm. “I’ve always thought you and I are a lot alike.”
“Is that so?” I’m not sure where this is going.
She continues unfazed by my hesitance. “We’re both independent ladies. Some might call us bad girls or Jezebels, but they’re small-minded twerps.” She leans a little closer, surrounding me with Aqua-Net and Shalimar. “If you’d ever like to tag along with me on one of my trips, just say the word. I’d love a companion.”
I can’t even imagine. “Thank you, Ms. Roxanne. I’ll remember that.”
“Call me Roxie!” She straightens and heads to the door. “Goodnight, girls. Glad I could help out your business, Emberly.”
The door closes, and Emberly snorts a laugh. “Next stop, Hedonism!”
“You’d better start shopping for new cake pans. I have the feeling a rash of penis cakes is headed your way.”
“No!” Emberly’s hands fly up to her face. “Don’t say rash and penis in the same sentence.”
That ma
kes me laugh. “You know Betty Pepper is sitting in church dreaming of hers right now. I’ve never seen that old lady’s eyes so bright.”
“I confess, I’m intrigued.” Emberly puts a hand on her hip. “I’d like to see if my skills are up to the challenge.”
“You can do anything you set your mind to!” I hand over Coco’s helmet and hug her goodnight. “See you tomorrow.”
The exercise, the time with my best friend, even the suggestion I join the over-fifty crowd at Hedonism have all lifted my spirits.
As soon as I get home, though, it all evaporates.
I walk into my lonely cottage. It’s quiet and my computer screen glows in the darkness. The Travel Time site is done, tested, debugged, and ready for its big launch tomorrow at midnight.
I have to make a decision about whether or not to take Rani and AJ’s offer. Chad’s words are on my mind. Hell, Chad is on my mind. He never leaves my mind. What is he doing?
Dropping onto my couch, I pull out my phone and stare at the blank face. Roxanne Philpot’s offer echoes in my brain, and as much as my inner travel goddess recoils at the suggestion she and I are alike, it’s kind of true.