When We Kiss

“Uh…” Tabby walks fast to meet my mother halfway between the front door and the large table at the back wall where I do my decorating. “We got a last-minute cake order for Donna’s shower.”

I frantically look for anything to cover the oversized male member—as if that could possibly save us from the shit-storm about to erupt.

“That’s nice.” Condescension is thick in her voice. “Donna’s mother has been a faithful member of the church since you were little girls. I’m sure she’ll appreciate your talent…”

My mother stops, and a knot lodges in my throat. Seconds like hours tick past as she steps around my best friend, arms crossed, frowning down at the phallus. Thank God I haven’t added the extra cream to the tip yet.

“What is this?” Her voice is hard, disgusted.

“Just what the doctor ordered!” Tabby calls out. “A little taste of what’s to come!”

It’s no use. My mother is impervious to humor.

“God gives you a talent, Emberly Rose, and this is how you thank him? By making porn?”

My mind drifts to a list of questions, the way it always does when her lectures start: Would God really be angry about a cake shaped like Donna’s future husband’s penis? Doesn’t God have bigger fish to fry? Does God even fry fish? Jesus ate fish…

“Are you listening to me, Emberly Rose?”

I blink back to attention. “It seemed like an interesting challenge.”

The sweetest little voice cuts through the tension in the air. “Mommy’s cake! Mommy’s cake!” Everything is forgotten as I dash forward, scooping my little girl into my arms.

“Coco bean!” I spin her around and kiss her velvety cheek. The entire world is suddenly brighter.

“The purple monster says tres!” she chants.

“Tres?” I pretend to be confused. “What is tres?”

“Three!” she cries holding up three small fingers.

“That’s right!” I hug her body snug against mine.

All the shame and fear are gone when I hold Coco, but she starts to wiggle. She wants to get down.

“I want cake! Mommy cake!”

My mother is quick to interrupt. “Colette, come to Grandmother.”

“Cake! Cake! Cake!” Her little eyes sparkle and two dimples punctuate her cheeks as she cheers for cake.

Happiness rises in my chest with every pump of her cute little fist over her head.

“How about this…” I go to her and kneel, putting my hands on her tiny waist. She puts her hands on the tops of my shoulders, her dark eyes suddenly serious. “I’ll make you a special cupcake with a purple monster and a big three on it.”

“I’m four now.”

“This isn’t a birthday cake.” I smooth my fingers in her hair, moving a cluster of silky brunette curls behind her ear. “It’s a special cake, and I’ll give it to you tomorrow.”

“You won’t spend the night?”

My heart sinks with her question, but I can’t spend another night in my mother’s house. I just can’t.

“I have to fix this house for us. Remember? We’re going to live upstairs. And I’ll be over first thing tomorrow with your cupcake.”

I carry her to the door where my mother waits, disapproval lining her thin lips. “Church tomorrow. I expect you to be there.”

“I will.” I give Coco another hug, taking a deep inhale of her sweet little girl scent. “Go with Granny now.”