One Insatiable

“Sounds good.” A quick glance out the glass door, and I look back. “Say, Jim?”

“Yeah?”

“Know any place a guy could crash and maybe get a meal?”

He brightens again and takes my arm. “Dude! My aunt Doris has just the place you’re looking for. A garage apartment not even attached to her house. You can come and go as much as you want!”

I follow him out the door and we’re headed down the sidewalk. This entire setup is getting better by the minute.

Doris White is an odd little woman. Dressed in a pink flour-sack dress, her fuzzy white head only reaches my stomach. Still, her eyes are stern as she interviews me.

“Your name is Kona? Like the coffee?”

“Um, no.” I do my best to appear non-threatening. Don’t scare Doris.

“But you’re Hawaiian?” She squints.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“So, Kona, what brings you to Woodland Creek?”

“It’s Koa. Without the N.” Don’t raise your voice. You need short-term housing.

“What?” Her voice is a high screech.

Exhaling deeply, I try a different approach. “How about Stitch? It was my nickname when I was a boxer.”

“Like the little alien guy? In the cartoon??”

I almost lose it then. “Do I look like a runty alien?”

Her eyebrows tighten even more than I thought possible, just before she breaks into a crackly laugh. “Oh, yes. You’ll do fine,” she says. “Besides, I like having a big strong buck like you on the place.”

“Oh, he’s not at the university, Aunt D,” Jim says, completely clueless.

I can only assume the Bucks are the university mascot. With a smirk, I nod to her nephew, although I know that isn’t what she meant.

“Come and go as you like. Rent’s due on the fifteenth.” She waves a hand over her shoulder as she waddles away.

Jim grins and slaps me on the shoulder. “Dude, she’s never liked anyone that fast before. See you in a few.”

With an exhale, I climb the stairs to check out my new digs. It’s a small, studio apartment above the unused garage. It’s furnished. It even has sheets on the double bed and towels in the closet.

“Not bad,” I murmur, opening and closing cabinet doors. “Now all I need are more clothes.”

Three o’clock, and I’m back at the gym ready to meet Andy. The interim hours had me sneaking around town, finding another few shirts to go with my pilfered jeans, then swiping a pair of boots off a plumber visiting Doris’s neighbor. Handy when they leave them at the back door like that.

The minute I pass through the gym entrance, I drop the Nikes in the lost and found. No harm, no foul. The owner will have his shoes back as soon as he returns to the gym. Same with the other things I’m “borrowing.” Once I’ve got enough money to replace them, the clothes will mysteriously reappear with their owners.

Jim spots me as soon as I walk in. “Dude, you nervous?” He doesn’t even give me a chance to say no before he continues. “You’

re a brick house, dude. You have nothing to worry about. Andy will hire you on sight.”

Andy, it turns out, is another small guy, although he’s ripped and clearly uses his facilities, unlike Jim here, who I still can’t figure out. What the hell is this guy doing in a gym?

“Koa?” Andy looks up over the application, his brow arched as if he’s Sherlock Holmes on a case.

“That’s me,” I say, giving him a nod.