One to Hold (One to Hold 1)

“Maybe this Alexander guy is equally hot,” she said with a wink.

I shrugged, sipping my iced tea. “Wouldn’t matter.”

The corner of her mouth curled up. “We’ll see tonight. This might be the additional option you need.”

Her words provoked a little laugh from me. She had no idea what additional option I’d already had, and I doubted this Alexander person would be able to top it. That flash of memory caused me to inspect the restaurant once more. Not seeing him, my stomach unclenched enough for me to eat our non-cleansing lunch of cheeseburgers and fries.

Chapter 4 – Special Forces

Even though I had no interest in Patrick’s boss, when I saw Elaine putting on her strapless, ruched-top dress, I pulled mine out of the closet as well. They were perfect for the weather—handkerchief print, knee-length, and flowing. We’d bought them in the spa store together. Elaine’s was black with purple swirling designs, and mine was a bright red with hot pink accents. We each had a glass of the in-room white wine as we made up our faces and dressed.

Using a large brush, I dusted translucent powder over my nose and up my temples to my forehead where my eyes landed on a faded pink scar at my hairline. My lips pressed together, and that old pain twisted inside my chest. I lowered the brush as my hand fumbled to my wine glass. Taking a long sip, I waited a moment for the feelings to pass.

It was over, I reminded myself. That part of my life had ended. I had put all the wheels in motion before I even stepped foot on the plane to come here—before I’d even known I was coming here. Now it was time to let healing take place. I had to let go of what had happened to me and move forward.

A few cleansing breaths, and my control began easing back. Tapping my finger against the pot of concealer, I touched the flesh-toned makeup over the thin pink line, and it was gone. For a split second I imagined a concealer for heart scars. Instead I shook my head. Over, I repeated in my brain. Another deep inhale, and I was ready to emerge from the bathroom.

Elaine was leaning down, fastening the buckle on her sandal when I walked out. Her straight, blonde hair spilled like silk around her shoulders, and when she stood, we both caught our breaths. “You’re beautiful!” we practically said simultaneously. Then we laughed.

“Oh, Mel,” my best friend said, coming over and wrapping her arms around me. “It’s moments like these when I know you’re going to be okay. Just give it time.”

I nodded hugging her back and pressing my lips against her temple. The clean scent of the spa-signature cactus flower toiletries flooded my senses. It was a relaxing smell, and I imagined if she disappeared with Patrick, he’d love it.

“I’m doing my best,” I said. “I know holding onto the past is the worst thing anyone can do.”

My psychologist mother would be the first to have me on her couch reciting these axioms to me if I dared let her know what had happened. As it stood, only three people knew the whole story—me, him, and Elaine, the closest person I had to a sister. It was a cliché not to tell anyone, but I didn’t have the energy or the willingness to involve the authorities. And I didn’t want everyone knowing my tragic tale.

It was finished. I’d made my decision, and I was putting it behind me. My instincts said to cut my losses, cut all ties, and move on. I’d made my first step before leaving Baltimore. This trip was the second, and when I got back, I’d take the third.

What happened with Derek might be extended as part of me cutting ties, my declaration of freedom from my past… But more likely it was just a blip on the radar screen. An incredible distraction, that was now through.

Walking to the restaurant, the dry breeze blew our hair back. I lifted the weight of my dark locks around one shoulder and linked arms with my friend.

“We should do trips like this more often,” she said, looking up at the desert sky. “It’s wonderful being together, and there’s nothing stopping us now. I had a long talk with Brian this afternoon, and that’s done. Clean break. We’re both free agents now.”

My arm tightened on hers, and I pulled her to a stop. “Are you okay?”

She nodded and smiled. “It really was over before I even called you about coming here. It’s sad, but I promise, I’m so relieved we’ve finally made it official. It was turning into the longest goodbye on record.”

“Was Brian part of the reason you planned this spa retreat?”

She pulled me, and we started walking again. “Only a small part. I knew how much you needed it, too. I could hear it in your voice every time we talked.”

Another deep, cleansing breath. “Well, I think your idea sounds fantastic. Let’s plan our next trip as soon as we get back.”

“Will you be coming home to the shore now?” her delicate eyebrows pulled together.

I bit my lip and nodded. “Definitely. The best part about working freelance is it goes with me anywhere. And I have lots of contacts in Wilmington.”

“Oh, that makes me so happy,” she beamed, doing a little skip. “We are definitely planning our next trip. What do you think? Is Thanksgiving too soon?”

I laughed as we entered the restaurant, glad I’d had that glass of wine. I was at ease and far less nervous about accidentally bumping into Derek this time. Elaine told the hostess we were with Patrick and Mr. Alexander as I hung back beside the aquarium.

When she motioned for us to follow her, my friend clasped the crook of my arm and leaned in to my ear. “If this is the ‘Mr. Alexander’ I found online, it should be a very interesting dinner.”

I shook my head and smiled. Her nonstop online investigations were becoming an entertaining distraction.

“Why?” I whispered, picturing a grey-haired old gentleman with a name like Mr. Alexander.