One to Hold (One to Hold 1)

Pushing aside those dark thoughts, I inhaled Derek’s warm, woodsy scent again in my hair. A little smile teased at the corner of my lips when I thought of how wild our encounters were. I slid my dark locks across my face, closing my eyes and imagining his strong arms around my waist, remembering him pushing me against the wall. The feel of that huge man trembling in my arms when he came. The sound of his groans.

Lying in the dark alone, I did the one thing that would drive my mother crazy. I compartmentalized it all. With my eyes closed, I imagined taking Sloan and putting him alone in his own, cold plastic box. I slammed the lid and shoved it on a back shelf in my mind. Then I gathered all the events of the last year as if scooping up scattered blocks and dumped them in another box, which I shoved under Sloan’s.

Stretching out in my bed, I took a new box. I imagined lining it with satin and flower petals. I took little pillows and made a soft bed. That’s where I put Derek and his memories. I pictured myself small, climbing into the box with him. He was lying back on the cushions in his grey slacks. The button-down he wore was open, and I could see every line on his sculpted torso. That little smile was on his lips as he watched me approach. I ran my fingers along the lines of his stomach, gazing into his eyes that darkened as I touched him.

His kiss, the same one he gave me beside the fire pit, was gentle but hungry. Our pace grew faster as we kissed each other again and again, tongues entwining, heat growing between my legs, until he pulled me under him. My breathing was fast, my whole body tense with anticipation, so wet, so ready for his awesome fullness. I felt his tip pressing into me, filling me, as a thought drifted through my mind. We’d never done it in a bed…

Scuffing sounds and the loud noise of someone trying to be quiet woke me. I looked at the clock. It wasn’t even eight yet. Elaine was hurrying around the room, filling a bag with her bathing suit, a towel,

“What are you doing?” I asked, my voice thick with sleep.

“Oh,” she exclaimed. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to wake you.”

I sat up slowly, rubbing my eyes. Looking around, I almost expected to see Derek in bed with me. I’d drifted to sleep in our box, wrapped in his huge, protective arms.

“Did you spend the night with Patrick?” I asked.

A giggle was followed quickly by a throat clearing. “Yes,” she said, unable to hide her beaming face. “Oh my god.”

My lips pressed into a smile. “Good?”

“Holy fuck,” she flopped across the foot of my bed. “I think I came five times last night.”

I grinned, smoothing her now-messy blonde hair. “Is it possible to meet your soul mate in one day?” she asked, looking up at me.

“No idea,” I said, not wanting to think about questions like that. It made my stomach hurt. “I’m not sure I believe in soul mates. But you like him? Sounds like poor Brian is definitely toast.”

“Don’t even say the B-word. Patrick is the hottest thing. And that body.” She did a little shiver. “First we just talked all hours. Oh! You never came back. Did Derek find you? He said not to worry, and I figured since he’s practically a cop and an ex-Marine…”

I bit my lip, still not sure how much I wanted to tell her about Derek’s and my… relationship? Agreement? I didn’t have a clue what to call it. I’d never had a fuck buddy before. Were we even buddies? We never saw each other outside of patios, bars, and family restrooms.

“We… bumped into each other,” I said. Then I suppressed a grin at how that “bump” went. And how hot and noisy it was.

“Did you get any dinner?”

“I did, but tell me about you and Patrick.”

“Mmm,” she smiled again. “Okay, like I said, first we talked all hours, really got to know each other. Then we went down to the pool. It was completely dark, so we sneaked in—”

“You went skinny dipping?”

She giggled. “Have you ever had sex in a pool? It is amazing. Everything’s all wet, and the water was the exact right temperature.”

“I hope you used protection.” I mentally wondered at how many public decency laws these former cops of ours broke.

“Of course!” Elaine jumped up and went back to filling her bag. “He’s going to blow off the conference today, and we’re spending it together. When I told him this was my first trip to Arizona, he had all these places I just have to see.”

“Sounds like fun,” I sighed, rolling onto my side.

Then her expression changed. “I’m sorry!” she cried. “I’m the worst friend ever! I need to stay with you and do our treatments. Our mental health regimen.”

I sat up and shook my head. “No way! Get out of here! I’m the one who needs a mental health regimen. You can catch up with me tonight.”

She bounced over and kissed my cheek. “Thanks,” she cooed. “I’ll make it up to you. Promise.”

Once Elaine was gone, I lay back in the bed again, remembering my little box with Derek and wanting to climb back inside and wrap myself in his arms. Last night he’d entered me from behind, kissing my neck, his scruffy beard teasing the sensitive places around my shoulders. His large fingers massaged my clit until I came so hard…

I blinked at the ceiling a few times acknowledging it was all a fantasy—at least that version of us together was. It had been my small fingers doing the massaging, and nothing teased the sensitive areas of my shoulders, although the idea of that still made me shiver.