I heard him exhale deeply. “I told you why,” he said, jaw clenched. “I cared about you. I wanted to be with you. I still do.”
“Were you even there for the conference?”
His lips tightened, and I realized the answer. The conference was just a lucky coincidence. A convenient lie.
I shook my head. “Thanks, but no thanks. You’re no hero. You’re a liar. And if you were trying to hurt me you couldn’t have done a better job.”
I stepped back to his desk, turning the photograph facedown and sliding it and the other papers together and into the folders, preparing to leave. But then I remembered. I turned back and placed the silk pouch on the smooth desk’s surface. In it was the necklace with the floating heart he’d given me in Scottsdale.
“I almost threw this into the ocean,” I said, holding my voice steady. “But that didn’t seem harsh enough. Now I simply don’t want it anymore. Or you.”
His eyes were pleading as he tried to approach me again, but I stepped back, clutching the folder to my chest. My voice shook as I said my final words, and I was afraid I’d over-stayed my ability not to cry. “Don’t ever come near me again.”
I went straight out and closed his office door, pausing for a moment to lean against it. I exhaled a trembling breath, closing my eyes, but when I heard him approaching on the other side, I quickly walked to the main entrance and dashed out, taking the stairs down instead of waiting for the elevator.
It was over. Nothing he could say could make it right. He’d lied to me. The entire time we were together in Arizona had been a lie. He’d known every time he’d slept with me why he was there, why I was there, and he’d never said a word. I could never trust him again.
All I wanted was to get as far away from him as possible—from all of this. I wanted to go back to Wilmington, back to my old life, and never, never remember my time in Maryland. Ever again.
Chapter 16 – The Road to Anywhere
Sitting on the shore outside my new home, I watched the sun set as the tide gently rolled in against my feet. In the three months since I’d been back, it felt like I had almost completely regained my life. Yes, there were a few scars, a few old wounds, but I was healing. Now I could actually see a time when I’d be whole, unlike before when I was only sinking further into despair.
My old friends were waiting with open arms. Of course, all of them except Elaine got the modified version of why I’d left Sloan. The most I was comfortable revealing was that he’d had an affair. And while there were a few people who didn’t u
nderstand why I couldn’t just forgive him and put it behind us, more people seemed to support me.
Restarting my marketing business proved easier than I’d anticipated. I’d been afraid my old clients had moved on or forgotten about me, but they hadn’t. Taking over Mrs. Reynolds’ positions on the Baltimore boards had been more beneficial than I’d realized at the time, and now that I was off my “sabbatical,” as I framed it, many of them referred new clients to me. In less than a month, I was adding to the spreadsheet of names I’d started that night in my old room in Sloan’s mansion.
Only one name had been removed, and I was doing my best to forget it.
I hadn’t asked Derek what to do about his childhood game, when the thing you were holding onto for survival was taken away. I supposed the answer would be to simply survive. To keep going. Push through the pain and carry on. Wait for the day when it no longer hurt. He said the pain always ended. I had to believe in this one thing at least, he was telling the truth.
That entire drive back from Princeton, I’d held on with all my might. Seeing him again for the first time that way, after longing for him so hard had been like a million kicks to the chest and stomach. But knowing what he’d done, how he’d deceived me, only twisted all that pain even tighter into a bitter knot.
When I’d finally gotten my keys from the realtor and signed the papers on my new home, I’d thanked my best friend, who had to get back to her work at school, and I’d allowed myself to cry for a long time.
The delay in moving back to Wilmington had given me time to have all my services connected and everything set up from Maryland. My one-bedroom, single bath condo was small, but it was gorgeous, designed for the discriminating beachcomber. The floor-plan was open and airy. It had a gourmet kitchen—complete with brushed stainless appliances and fixtures—a dining area, and a study with a window seat. I even had a private, screened-in porch.
The color scheme was all white and the floors were bright pine, but I’d already decided I’d add color to the interior. Not immediately, as my heart felt like all the color had been drained away. But everything was ready to go as soon as I was ready to pull myself out of the bed.
It was a battle. It took longer than I cared to admit, but I’d gotten back on my feet, and now we were headed into the holiday season.
My only setback occurred a month after I arrived. Halloween had passed, and I was doing my best to rebuild my client base. Elaine recommended I visit the private school where she worked to leave a card. I hadn’t made it over until the end of the day, and walking from the parking lot, I couldn’t help noticing a well-dressed, well-built, honey-blond male walking near me. I jumped two feet when I realized who it was.
“Patrick!” I breathed as his hazel eyes lit with recognition.
“Hello, Melissa.” That handsome smile crossed his lips, and I felt like an idiot. I should’ve known they were still together.
Just as fast, I grew tense. “Are you alone? Is—”
“I’m alone,” he said. “Had some business in Raleigh, so I figured I’d drop in on my way back. Surprise Elaine.”
“This isn’t on your way back.”
“It can be.”
My lips pressed together. Elaine had been kind enough never to mention what happened in Princeton or the guys at all since my return to Wilmington. At the same time, Brian was ancient history, and she never dated anyone to my knowledge, which was very unusual for my flirtatious friend. Now it all made sense.