I’d completely forgotten to close the damn curtains when we finally fell asleep last night, and now I was regretting it as the desert sun poured in full-force. At some point, I’d woken up and she was still in my arms. I’d kissed her head and fallen asleep again wit
h her warm body secure against mine, but this time, when I reached out, she was gone.
The shower was going, and I was about to join her when the water shut off, and I heard her moving quickly. I hated the thought of what was coming—this separation was going to hurt like hell. I wasn’t even sure how far Wilmington was from Princeton, but I was pretty confident it was more than a few hours. Still, we could figure it out. I was willing to try, anyway.
The door opened and she paused a moment when she saw me awake. Her blonde hair was damp and had the slightest wave, and a towel was tied under her arms. God, she was so fucking gorgeous. A small smile, a swift kiss to my cheek, and she scooped up the dress she’d been wearing last night. She was back in the bathroom before I could catch her.
“I’ve got to go,” she said as she returned fully clothed. “I haven’t packed or anything.”
“Hang on.” I stepped into the bathroom to take care of both my issues. One of which, I’d much rather have taken care of with her. “Give me a second to change, and I’ll walk you back.”
My shoulders were tight, my whole body was tight as I walked back and sat on the bed, picking up my shorts. This moment had felt far away last night, and now it was playing out way too fast.
“No time!” She kissed my cheek. Her long blonde hair slipped forward into my face, but I caught her as she tried to pull away.
“Elaine. Slow down,” I said with more force. “It won’t take me two seconds to pull on my jeans and a shirt.”
“Patrick.” Her tone stopped me. “I want to say goodbye here.”
Studying her expression, I wasn’t sure how to respond. “That sounds very final.”
She exhaled and sat beside me on the bed not meeting my eyes. “I was awake most of the night thinking, and… I just can’t take another long goodbye.”
“So we won’t say it. Let’s make a plan.”
Her head shook out a no. “You’ve got your job, I’ve got my job. The school year’s just starting… We’re almost a day apart in distance. It’s only a matter of time before—”
“Before nothing. We can make it work.”
Her green eyes met mine then. “How?”
My eyebrows rose. “Do we have to know right this second?”
Taking my hand, she pulled it onto her lap. Then she ran her fingertip along the tattoo that no longer said Stacy. “These last few days have been amazing. You’re gorgeous and funny and sexy…” She took a deep breath and met my eyes then. “And I can’t do long-distance, Patrick. I just can’t. It’s too hard, and it always ends badly.”
The ache in my stomach was growing stronger. I hadn’t expected her to be like this. Not after last night. “You’re so certain.”
“Can’t we just keep what we shared these last few days as a beautiful memory? Instead of trying to hold on and ruining it all?”
I was feeling pretty ruined already. “Why are you doing this?”
“Please, Patrick,” her voice was a whisper now. “Don’t make this harder than it is.”
Fuck that. “Is this hard for you? Because you’re making it look pretty damn easy.”
She stood fast and grabbed her bag, but I was right with her, catching her arm.
“Wait.” Yes, I was pissed. I couldn’t believe she was doing this. I didn’t understand why she was doing it after all we’d shared. But I didn’t want those to be my last words. I didn’t want to have any last words, but fuck if we left it that way.
She wouldn’t look at me as I took her phone from her hand, typing in my number. It was a shot in the dark, and I was taking it. Quickly, I hit save and handed it back to her, my voice gentler.
“That’s my number. For when you change your mind. Call me, and I’ll be there.”
For a moment she only held the device. Then without a word or even a look back she turned and pushed through the door. Everything in me wanted to catch her, to hold her, to bring her back and make her say she didn’t want this, but she was gone. The room was dead quiet in her absence. The only reminder she’d been here was the fresh smell of the spa-issued shampoo she used.
Slowly, like a drop of dye in a glass of water, the pain hit my chest. It threaded its way down my shredded insides to my aching stomach, spreading out in my abdomen. I sat again briefly then I lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
With five words, she’d walked out the door. She didn’t do long distance. I didn’t know what the hell to do with that. Or even what to say. And fuck all of it, I’d been down that road, holding onto a woman who had other plans. I’d be damned if I did it again.