“So what’s up with that other thing?” I asked before I left.
His eyes moved from the laptop to me. “What other thing?”
“Whatever had you so distracted in the desert.”
He stared back at his computer, made a few clicks, then leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers.
“Hey, you said it was my fault. I should know what I did.” I hoped a joke might loosen him up some. I was not expecting it to work.
“I met someone. The first night we were there.” He leaned forward on the desk, picking up his pen again. “I’m in love with her. But it’s complicated.”
“Met someone? I only ever saw you with…” Realization washed over me. “It’s Melissa?”
He didn’t answer—he didn’t have to. The answer was clear on his face.
Having my own heart freshly ripped out had me feeling generous. “Want to grab a beer after work?”
He looked up at me. “That actually sounds good.”
“Just head to my office when you’re ready.” I was at the door when I paused. “And I’m glad you got Nikki back.”
“She knows the office,” he said quietly. “I’m not traveling anytime soon, and at least I know what to watch out for.”
Pointing out he might try discussing the problem with her didn’t feel like the right thing to say at the moment. Besides I could probably help with that—later. For now, I had another matter to investigate.
* * *
Derek was on his fourth beer, and I was two vodkas in. We’d hit the time of the evening when we started wondering aloud why we didn’t do this more often, and it was all brotherhood and bonding.
“She was not what I expected to find,” he said. “And then, it was like I was powerless against her.”
“I know that feeling,” I said, holding my glass aloft.
His hand went to his eyes, which he rubbed too hard. “I can’t stop thinking about her.”
“I know that fucking feeling, too.” I finished the vodka in one long drink. Then I signaled the bartender for another. Looked like I’d be taking a cab home tonight. “How did you figure this was my fault again?”
He lowered his hand and laughed bitterly. “All your acting up and talk about living. I’m sure you put the idea in my head.”
“You’re welcome,” I said, watching the bartender prep my next drink. It was back in front of me again, and I stared down at the contents.
“Now all I do is wonder what she’s doing,” he paused. “I wonder if the way I felt was all just me. If she’s with him now.”
His last words were so quiet, they were almost inaudible. I watched his grip tighten on the glass, and that knot twisted in my own throat as I admitted the truth in my head. My thoughts were running in the exact same circles.
Elaine had said she’d just broken up with someone, and all I could wonder was if she’d gone back to him. If the jackass had woken up and realized how amazing she was. If he wanted her back. Would she go back to him? Would she forget me that easily?
My fist went down hard against the bar, and I picked up the drink, almost draining the glass in one long gulp.
“You and Elaine got pretty close,” he said, glancing at me. “Are you still talking to her?”
“No,” I said through the thickness in my voice. “We haven’t talked since we’ve been back.”
Memories of holding her body to me, of kissing her slowly tormented me. Flashes of her lips against mine, her breasts on my chest, her tying me up… I growled, sitting back and shoving my fingers against my forehead.
“I can’t do this.” I was off the stool and pulling on my jacket. “I’ve got to go.”
I fished for my wallet, but Derek stopped me. “I’ll cover it,” he said.