One to Keep (One to Hold 2)

“Yeah.” Her voice was thick, and she spread her fingers so they threaded with mine. “Thanks for coming here, standing by me. I can honestly tell this baby I loved its daddy very much.”

“Oh, Ken,” I whispered, pulling her cheek to my chest and holding her.

My feelings toward Kenny were all twisted up. They were strong, but they moved in a different direction from my feelings for Elaine. I didn’t want to be with Kenny that way, and I believed her when she said she didn’t want to marry me. At the same time, she was part of my life now, and I cared about her. I loved her.

“I expect you to tell me if that little guy needs anything,” I said, hoping to lighten the mood.

“Oh, so it’s a boy?”

“Already causing this much trouble? Definitely.”

She laughed, pushing out of my arms. It sounded good. “You’re a dangerously sweet man, Bingley.”

“And you’ve been dealt some tough cards.” Reaching up, I slid her light brown hair off her cheek and met her smile. “No matter what, I’m here for you. I meant it two months ago, and I mean it now.”

She nodded and took my hand from her cheek, kissing it before starting to stand, pulling me up with her. “Let’s get going. I’m as settled as I can be for now, and you’ve got to win your lady love back.”

I followed her up the pier to my car, still holding hands. “I don’t know if she’ll be as easy to convince as your parents.”

“If she’s as torn up about you as you are about her, she will.”

I wasn’t sure she was right, but I nodded, keeping my smile in place. “I’ll probably have to give her a little time.”

“If there’s anything I can do, let me know.” She imitated my tone.

I pinched her nose. “I will.”

* * *

Back in Princeton, I paced my apartment, holding the phone to my ear and trying to figure out what I could say or do that I hadn’t already. I knew it was too soon to go to her, but I needed to hear her voice, to know what she was thinking. After several rings, my stomach sank. It seemed she was back to not taking my calls, but just as I was giving up, her voice appeared on the other end of the line. My eyes closed automatically at the sound.

“I don’t want to talk to you yet,” she said quietly.

“Okay,” I answered. The fact that she said yet gave me the tiniest bit of hope. “I just wanted to be sure you made it home. I… You know how I feel, Elaine.”

“Don’t,” her voice cracked, and I felt it across the miles directly to my heart.

“Nothing’s changed,” I said softly. “What happened with her was way before us, and it’s just one of those things. An unexpected…” I didn’t want to say problem. “Something we can deal with.”

“You didn’t tell me she was a girl.”

“And I was wrong. I’ll never keep anything like that from you again. It just didn’t seem so urgent at the time.”

“We’re miles apart, you’re communicating with a secret ex-girlfriend, and now this.” Her tone was more heartbroken than attacking. I knew she was telling me all the thoughts swirling through her head, and I wanted to squash them all.

“Listen to me,” I said. “My feelings aren’t like that. Kenny’s like a little sister to me.”

“Who you sleep with.”

With that one phrase, I lost.

I rested my head against the doorjamb, eyes closed. “We’d had a lot to drink, I was in a really bad place—”

“Oh, Patrick,” tears were in her voice, and my chest ached at the sound. “Loving you, having you break my heart… I couldn’t take that.”

The frustration was driving me crazy. I wanted to go to her, wipe those tears away and love her until she believed me. “I’ll never hurt you,” I said.

“You already have.”