One to Keep (One to Hold 2)

My brow lined. “I don’t know. She was pretty upset.”

“It’s been two weeks?”

“Almost three.”

He nodded. “Do what you want. I’m just saying what I’d do.”

For a moment, I only stared ahead thinking. My drink was finished, so I slipped off the stool. The too-bright bar with its too-bright wood that smelled of too-fresh varnish was getting to me.

“I’ll think about it,” I said. “Have a good trip.”

In the cab headed home, I did think about Derek’s advice. The more I considered it, the more it made sense to me. Back at my apartment, I pulled out a case and threw some clothes inside. In the morning I’d get on the road to Wilmington.

Chapter 21 – Bubblegum

Finding her, being with her, holding her in my arms—the images burned hot in my brain the entire drive south. Three weeks of waiting, of wishing I could change things, of trying to find anything to fix it, had me wound so tightly, I almost couldn’t take it anymore. The miles felt like they spread out longer the closer I got to her, and I wanted to pull the car over and run the rest of the way, which didn’t make sense. The Charger was much faster.

When I finally reached the school, it was dark. For a moment I sat there contemplating what I was about to do. Her last words to me tried to creep into my brain, but I forcefully shoved them out. That was three weeks ago, a lifetime it felt like, and before I’d let any second-thoughts kick in, I turned the wheel and pushed the pedal down. I was at her condo in less than five, my body humming as I sat out in front of her place. If she asked me to leave, I’d leave, but I wasn’t losing another day wondering.

My knock on her door seemed too loud to me, but anticipation had all my senses heightened. We hadn’t spoken, she hadn’t returned my calls. This was crazy. I was crazy. My head was spinning when the door opened quickly, and Elaine appeared. She was so beautiful, I almost couldn’t breathe at the sight of her.

“Patrick!” Her mouth dropped open, but I didn’t wait. I rushed forward and pulled her to me, burying my face in her hair.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, fighting to keep my voice even as adrenaline flooded my veins. “I couldn’t go another day

without telling you in person.”

Her arms fluttered up, and she rested her hands on my shoulders. I took it as an encouraging sign. “Patrick,” she said again, but I wasn’t done.

“I know you asked for time, and I’ve done my best to stay away.” I was still holding her close, my lips at her ear. “I need to tell you this, and if you still want me to go, I’ll go.”

I stepped back then, meeting her eyes. She blinked rapidly, and I wasn’t sure if tears were a good or bad sign.

“You drove here from Princeton?” she asked, and I nodded. Then she nodded as well. “Come inside and tell me.”

The tiniest flicker of hope sparked in my chest. She was letting me in.

“Before I met you, Elaine, I was out of control. I’d been hurt and I was angry and I didn’t believe in love anymore. I’d decided anyone who’d commit themselves to another person was a… fucking loser.”

She didn’t take her eyes from mine, and for a moment, I couldn’t believe I’d ever doubted I could feel this way about another person again. “And then I met you, and in one night, you changed everything.”

Her chin dropped, but I stepped forward, catching it and lifting her eyes to mine. She didn’t struggle, and gazing into her beautiful green eyes, my heart ached with all I needed her to know.

“Everything that was wrong with me, all the pieces that were broken or that I’d tried to force into the wrong spots were fixed. Your smile, your touch… everything about you made me want to be a better person. You put me back together, Elaine, and not just that, you’re beautiful and sexy… You’re the only woman I want. You’re the only person who completes me. None of this other stuff matters, nothing matters to me as much as you do.” My voice was a cracked whisper. “Nothing.”

She shook her head, eyes glistening, but I leaned down and kissed her. She didn’t pull away, and I drew her closer, wrapping my arms around her, my chest rising with every movement of my lips against hers.

Then I felt the pressure of her hands on my arms. She was pushing me back.

Releasing her, my heartbeat, my breath stilled, waiting. Would she ask me to leave? The mere suggestion shot pain through my core.

“I don’t know, Patrick.” I could tell she was trying not to cry. “It hurts so much.” Her head dropped, and a tear fell. My insides twisted. “I wanted…”

A few seconds passed, and she didn’t finish.

“What did you want?”

She sniffed and for a moment she didn’t speak. When at last she did, her voice was barely above a whisper. “I wanted to be the one having your baby.”