At once, Kenny’s expression changes, and she looks down, pressing her lips together. She almost seems nervous.
“What’s wrong?” I glance around before I lean closer. Only one nurse is still in the room, and she doesn’t appear to be listening to us.
“Oh, Elaine,” Kenny whispers, “I never talked to her.”
“I don’t understand—”
“Aunt Laura’s not coming. I never talked to her about Peanut.”
“Peanut?”
“The baby! My dad’s going to kill me. Patrick’s going to… well, he thinks it’s all settled, but I never could do it. I never could get myself to call her.”
My heart actually feels a little better at her words. “Are you saying you want to keep him?”
She hesitates, looking down. “I don’t know how I could. He’s just so beautiful. I just… I couldn’t give him up like that.”
Her voice breaks, and my heart does as well. We both turn to his sweet little golden head. He’s sleeping now, and she hugs him to her breast. I lightly run my finger down his little cheek. With his eyes closed, he looks so contented. All I can think about is watching Patrick sleep this morning.
Tears are in Kenny’s blue eyes as she looks up at me again. “I wanted so many times to ask if maybe…” Pausing, she chews her lip. “But I know you hate me—”
“I don’t hate you!” I cry. Her eyes narrow, and I blink down. “Okay, this situation has been difficult for me. But it’s not a matter of hate. And the baby’s just as much Patrick’s as he is yours.”
“He’s so precious.” Her voice is full of warmth, and I nod, loving him already.
Trying for encouragement, I give her a nudge. “What did you want to ask so many times?”
Her eyes travel over my face, and I hope she sees my answer waiting there. “I thought about it so much, but I was sure you’d never consider it.”
“Consider what?”
“Would you and Patrick… want to keep him?”
My throat constricts, and tears flood my eyes again. Deep inside, I know nothing would be more right. “Is that something you could do?” I can’t imagine giving him up now that I’ve seen him.
She nods slowly. “Little boys need their daddies, and I know Patrick will be good with him. And you’re so smart and beautiful—”
“I love him already,” I say, hoping to put her mind at ease.
Her brow relaxes and she leans toward me. I hug her shoulders, petting the baby again. “And I could still see him sometimes? I mean, if that’s okay with you.”
“Of course, you’ll still see him!” I cry. “You’ll see him as much as you want. It’s the perfect solution!”
We both start to laugh through our tears, and she hands him to me. His body is tiny, but it’s sturdy. I hug him to my chest.
“You look so natural with him,” Kenny whispers. “I think… would you talk to Patrick about it? He loves you so much. I know he’ll say yes if you’re okay with it.”
I lean forward and kiss her head. “I’m pretty sure he’d say yes anyway, but I’ll talk to him. And you need to call me Lainey.”
Relief shines in her eyes. “Thank you, Lainey.”
Patrick enters the room, and his face instantly lines with confusion as he takes in the scene. “What’d I miss?” He leans over to check his little son, sleeping against my breast.
I step back and kiss his cheek. “I’ll tell you later. Did you get it?”
“This hospital’s gift shop is pretty impressive,” he says.
“They have a captive market.”