Make Me Yours

“The Almond King!” My best friend laughs for the first time in a week. “Did you know he has a plan for revolutionizing Oakville’s economy?”

Clutching my forehead, I groan. “Gah—yes! He’s told me his plan five hundred times.”

“Almonds are the fruit of the future.” She pauses. “Are they fruits or nuts?”

“Who knows? They grow on trees…”

“I’ll tell you who knows.”

“Don’t say his name.”

“The future king of your little almond patch.”

“If you’re referring to my vagina, that’s just gross.” She laughs more, and I feel a twinge of guilt. “Am I being a bitch?”

“Umm… No.”

“Good. Because Ralph is a hard no.”

It’s not that he’s a bad guy. He’s just so… so… Sheldon Cooper. Still, my mom is in my head giving me a disapproving look. Be kind to everyone, Ruby Banks.

“I’ve dated every match in the tri-county area, and this is it. Ralph Stern is the last man on Earth.”

Drew laughs even more, and I have an inspiration. “Screw the dating apps. We’re going out tonight—just you and me.”

Her laugh disappears, and she’s shaking her head before the words even start. “Nope. Not interested. No.”

“Yes.” I’m off the couch and catching her by the arms. “You’ve been cooped up alone in that big old house since your dad went in the nursing home. You’re going out with me.” I pull her trench coat on her shoulders. “Anyway, I’m your ride, so you can’t argue.”

“You’re kidnapping me?”

“If that’s what it takes.” I lead her out the glass entrance, waiting as she locks the doors, then she follows me to my lime-green Subaru.

“Do you think it’s responsible to blow your paycheck on a night out?”

“Yes, my sad little paycheck only covers one night out. Thanks for reminding me.” We’re in the car, and I drive us to my mom’s house. “Kenneth Banks was so adamant about a useful degree. I’m a licensed therapist, and I can’t pay my bills.”

“Stop it. You’re building your practice.” Drew looks out the window, adding under her breath. “Kenneth Banks was a royal ass.”

“It’s okay. You can say it out loud.” Five turns, and we’re at Ma’s. “I’m confronting my daddy issues.” Her eyebrows shoot up, but I hold up a hand. “The first step is admitting you have a problem.”

“Drew!” Mom meets us inside the door, giving my friend a long hug. She pretty much adopted Drew after her mother died when we were eight. “We prayed for your father this morning at church, and I burned incense to the Buddha when I got home.”

“All the bases covered!” I lean to let Ma kiss my cheek, before swinging through the kitchen for a plate of dumplings.

“Eat in the kitchen, Ruby Banks!” Mom yells, but I keep going to my bedroom.

“We’re going out for a little while, Ma. We have to get ready.”

“Church tomorrow!”

“That woman, I swear…” Rolling my eyes, I close my bedroom door. Drew flops on my single bed with the plate, and I take a dumpling while inspecting my wardrobe.

“Here, you can wear this.” I pull out a super-short, high-waisted mini with a cute long-sleeved crop top. “You’ll look hot and totally on point.”

She takes it and frowns. “I don’t know why I’m dressing up. I’m not looking for a date.”

“You’re dressing up because it’s Saturday night, you just got paid, and you’re going out with your best friend!”