Round hazel eyes blink up at me, and I have to put down my food. It’s like an invisible fist punched me straight in the gut. How could I possibly say no to that face?
“I… well, I don’t know, sweetie.” Shit. I can’t get a dog without talking to Ruby. Why am I thinking this way? Why does Ruby’s opinion matter so much to me? “We need to do a little research first. Be sure nobody’s allergic.”
“Like Ruby can’t drink milk?”
“Yes—just like that. Are you finished?” She nods, and I quickly pick up the plates, shoving everything into the basket. I’m ready to find her absentee nanny. “Carry your milk.”
Lillie takes off ahead of me running as I jog down the stairs. Every day little things have changed around here. I’ve watched their paintings get more detailed until I assume they’re finished. I’ve searched for Ruby every morning to tell her how much I like them, and I’ve been beyond frustrated to find her gone without a word each time.
When we find her on the patio, my stomach tightens, and a surge of desire rises in my chest. Maybe she was right to stay away? I wasn’t expecting to feel like this when I saw her again. I’m acutely aware of how long it’s been since I’ve touched a woman. Four years…
“Ruby! Daddy said we have to talk to you about the puppy!”
When she looks up, I swear, it’s almost too much. She’s wearing black pants and an oversized white shirt I assume doubles as a smock over her black tank. Her long hair is up in a ponytail, and she looks like fresh air and sunshine and everything good. I want to go to her, pull her into my arms, and devour those pretty pink lips again.
Her cheeks flush when she sees me, but she squats in front of my daughter. “Why did he say that?”
“He said you might be allergic!” Lillie is talking so loud, and I can tell she’s excited. I’m not sure we’re ready for a pet, but telling her no is going to be hard.
“I’m not.” Ruby looks up at me as I walk to them. She quickly picks up one of my old button-up shirts and starts putting it on my daughter.
“I told her we needed to do some research.” I see her fingers tremble slightly. Is she nervous? I want to cover those hands with mine and tell her she has no reason to be. I never want to hurt her.
“Your daddy’s right, Lil. We need to do some research. Eleanor might be allergic.”
“Aww!” Lillie mixes a whine with a little stomp, and I watch as Ruby fishes out a small pair of gardening gloves.
Reaching out, I give my daughter’s little ponytail a gentle tug. “I never told you I love your cat suit.”
Lillie’s smile is only half-hearted and she picks up a small trowel.
Ruby speaks to her softly, giving her a little nudge. “What do you say?”
My daughter’s reply is pouty. “Thank you.”
“Lillie, don’t act like that. You have so many nice things.” Ruby starts, but I touch her arm.
Her eyes meet mine, and I shake my head. “Are your paintings finished? I’ve been looking at them all week. I think you have real talent.”
That distracts her, and she proceeds to tell me about brush strokes, showing me how to flick the brush to make it look like a leaf or a cloud. She’s clearly a beginner, but I see Ruby watching her and smiling proudly. It’s just another reason on my growing list of why I’m falling for this woman.
As much as Eleanor spends her days worrying and fretting over what my daughter eats and wears, I’m trying to remember if I’ve ever seen her step back and simply observe Lillie doing things with as much pride as Ruby does.
It’s Friday before I get my wish to speak to Ruby alone.
Dinners have leveled out to mundane chatter—the weather, preschool activities, the prospect of a fall harvest. Eleanor doesn’t have as many barbs to throw since Ruby started preparing healthier lunches, although the details of breakfast have been a bit sketchy.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say my daughter is trying to be sneaky, which only piques my curiosity even more. Naturally, I run interference when Eleanor gets too pushy.
I floated the idea of my mother-in-law potentially finding her own place, to which she responded as I expected—shock, dismay, concern for Lillie, concern for her finances. I don’t really mind paying all of Eleanor’s expenses. I do mind her being in my house, hovering over Lillie, and meddling in my affairs.
All of this is on my mind as I stand outside Ruby’s bedroom door. What am I doing here? After the way she’s acted since Monday, I decided she must need space. That kiss was amazing. It’s been on my mind all week, distracting me from my work, making me think about all the possible ways we might be able to act on these feelings.
I’ve also been puzzling nonstop over what she said… You’ll ruin everything. What plans is she afraid I’ll ruin? Is she already thinking of leaving us after a month? It’s only been a week, and I can’t imagine this house without her in it.
My muscles are tense as I take a deep breath and tap softly. Her room is quiet… no immediate response, so I knock again.
On the other side of the door, I hear her hesitant voice. “Who is it?”