Make Me Yours

“What is it?”

“Evolve?” Ruby exhales. “It means to grow and change. To learn from experience.”

“You sounded like you don’t like it here. Do you like it here?” Noises of standing, stepping out of the tub, send me from the door into the hallway. I don’t mean to eavesdrop, but I have to hear Ruby’s answer.

“I like you.” Ruby carries her into the bedroom, and I can see from the doorway Lillie’s wrapped in a hooded towel. “I like your pretty house and my pretty room. I like our garden.”

No mention of me. My jaw clenches, and I think about what happened at dinner. Ruby was eager to get away when Eleanor brought out the port.

“Are you going to go out with Henry?” Ruby pauses in scrubbing my daughter’s head with the towel. I realize I’m holding my breath.

“I don’t know.”

Her answer pisses me off more than it probably should.

Or hell, maybe it pisses me off the right amount? Go out with Henry Pak? Leave here? After what we’ve shared? Turning on my heel, I jog down to my office. Adrenaline is pumping in my veins as I pace in front of my desk, and I know I’m not getting any work done tonight. Not with all these thoughts racing in my mind.

Leaving my work station, I storm down to my bedroom and strip off my slacks and work shirt. I go to the dresser and take out a tee and some nylon jogging pants. In less than five minutes I’m out the door, running down the circle driveway and out to the path leading past our house and through this expansive neighborhood, around the lake.

Every lot in Eagleton Heights is two acres. It makes for a nice, long path for walkers and joggers. I loop past the condos, where I now know Dr. Pak is setting up residence. Without even thinking I pop the bird at the new construction before circling around to where I started.

My legs burn with exertion, and I’m covered in a sheen of sweat when I arrive back at the house. I drop my hoodie in a basket in the laundry room and strip off my sweaty tee. I don’t feel like going upstairs for a new one. Luckily a stack of folded clothes sits on the drier, and I grab a white undershirt from it.

I didn’t eat much after Eleanor dragged out that port. I don’t know what kind of reaction she expected me to have, but I’m pretty sure from her response it wasn’t what she got. My feelings about those days are only good.

I never believed I would get here, but five years out, I look back on my honeymoon and the short time I had with my wife as cherished memories. A blessed time, followed by one of the darkest times of my life.

When I was in therapy, Drew said I would eventually get to this place of peace with the past, and a desire for a future. I didn’t believe her, but now it seems she was right. Those memories will always live in my heart, and I hope I’m blessed enough t

o have more to come.

My stomach rumbles, and I walk to the refrigerator. Eleanor keeps us on a relatively healthy diet, so I’m not expecting to find much in the way of snacks. Thinking about it more, I decide it’s time to take back this portion of my life as well. I want some fucking snacks in this goddamn house.

I grin, remembering how Ruby made pigs in blankets her first day here. They were delicious, and it sends my mind along a trail of all the ways she’s different from the women my mother-in-law associates with, different from Sandy’s old friends, the women I see when I take Lillie to preschool.

Ruby is fiercely independent, and she has her own unique style. She’s not a follower. She’s not a member of the herd. She doesn’t seem to want anything from me other than honest work, and she’s amazing with my daughter.

A soft noise behind me draws my attention, and when I see her, emotion hits me hard in the chest. My feelings for her have grown so strong over the past week and a half. I don’t want her to date Henry. I want her to stay here with me.

“What are you doing in here?” Her voice is soft, a little flustered, but I can tell she’s trying to tease me.

She’s standing there in cotton shorts and a thin tee with “Dream Big” printed on the front. A robe hangs from her shoulders, but it’s open. I watch as her eyes travel over me fast, her cheeks blushing pink.

“You blush easily.”

“Do I?” Her voice is soft, and she grins, her cheeks growing pinker. “I never did before. I didn’t mean to catch you in your underwear.”

Glancing down, I see the wife beater I’m wearing doesn’t cover much. I’m sweaty, my hair’s a mess, and I’m standing barefoot in the kitchen. “I just got back from a run. I thought everyone had gone to bed.”

“Lillie’s in bed.” She comes closer. “I don’t know where Eleanor is.”

Lifting my chin, I return to the refrigerator, where I’m holding the door open. “I just needed a little something more to help me sleep. I was thinking about Lillie’s leftovers, wishing we had something like cookies or pigs in blankets.”

She almost laughs. “Sorry about that. Didn’t mean to contaminate Lillie with my horrible food choices.”

“You should have a baking day, make cookies.”

Her voice turns sassy. “Are you saying you want my cookies?”