Make Me Yours

It takes a half hour for my daughter to be sure her dog (who only lives at Ruby’s house, she notes) knows she loves him and she’ll be back again tomorrow.

I can’t help thinking if this dog is really so smart, he’s already figured it out.

Driving home, Lillie usually dozes, but tonight, she’s unusually vocal. “Daddy, when you were in preschool, were there mean boys?”

I assume this is more Louie bullshit. “Yeah, they usually tried to do feats of strength and stuff like that. Why? Is Louie trying to make you eat something gross?”

“No!” She shrieks, her little nose curling. “I don’t listen to Louie anymore.” Then she gets quiet, and I can tell by her eyes, she’s thinking. “What’s feasts of strength?”

“Feats. It just means boys trying to show off who’s the strongest.” Alpha-male bullshit.

“I think grown-up girls do feasts of strength.” She looks out the window as if she’s done with this conversation.

Not so fast.

“What do you mean, princess?” She does a little sigh, and she’s singing another Disney song I don’t know. “Princess? Are grown-up girls being mean to you?”

My hackles are up, and I’m ready to get to the bottom of this.

Mamma bear? Meet Pappa bear.

“Not to me, Daddy.” She laughs like that’s ridiculous. In my experience, sadly, it’s not so ridiculous. “I think some of the mommies are mean to Ruby.”

If I thought the idea of someone being mean to my kid was bad, I had no idea how I’d react to someone being mean to Ruby. I can only guess it’s because I sense it might be partly my fault.

“Did something happen, baby?”

“Huh uh.” She shakes her little head no. “Ruby always wants to go home real quick. She never talks to Ms. Terry anymore. She says Buddy misses me.”

A knot is in my throat, but I hide it. “I’m sure Buddy does miss you. You’re his favorite human.”

“And Ruby!” My daughter’s voice is shrill and offended.

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“Right—of course, I meant and Ruby. I just meant of the humans who don’t live with him.”

“Ruby’s doing a painting. She says it’s me and her.”

The confession cements my resolve. I could see the resemblance as the days passed, but I didn’t know for sure. Mother and sleeping child? Do I need to be hit over the head with a frying pan?

Lillie goes back to singing her Disney song as quickly as she stopped, and as always I’m amazed at how fast my daughter lets go of disagreements once they’re settled. We should all be this way.

Back at the house, I pace in front of my computer. I’ve had this idea in my head since my conversation with Stephen, and it’s only grown stronger with every passing day. It seems impulsive and ill-advised, but truth be told, Buddy cemented the deal.

Last week I ordered the ring, and tonight, I’ll sit down with Lillie and ask if she’s okay with what I’m planning to do. I’m pretty confident she’ll be onboard with the idea.

Then I simply set the stage for it to happen…

34

Ruby

The text from Remi blasts in my face. Would you be able to take Lillie to school? Emergency errand. May can watch til you get here. Thanks.

I’ve got to stop falling asleep with my phone in my hand.

Rubbing my eyes, I glance at the clock. Seven fifteen! I throw my feet out of bed. Buddy lifts his little head, seeming as annoyed as me at this unexpected intrusion.