“I don’t like smoothies.” It was a lie. I didn’t have money to pay for it.
“Oh, I’m a wizard at them. You’ll love it.” She leaned back and eyed me up and down. “I’m Mariska, by the way.”
“I’ll take a pass, Mariska. I’m heading out.”
Her pink lips pressed together in a thin line. She was pretty. Hell, she was really pretty, but I wasn’t interested in female drama, much less from a hippie-chick who spoke sign language.
“You’re going to have to try one at some point. I’m here every day but Friday.” She gave me a wink, but I kept going. “See you tomorrow!”
My truck waited for me like an old, rusty dinosaur in the parking lot. I didn’t even bother to lock the door. If somebody wanted to steal this piece of shit, they got what was coming.
Sliding across the cracked vinyl seat, I lowered the visor and caught the silver keys as they fell. Opening the white sack, I found a bacon club. Fuck, it was like sex in a paper wrapper. I sat in that back parking lot and inhaled all of it in less than five minutes.
I knew what this meant—Rook had my number, but I didn’t give a shit. I was hungry. I’d deal with the fallout later.
I didn’t care to have Sundays off. I didn’t have any money to do anything, so I basically milled around the box I called home looking for things to repair. After a while, I went down to the water in the only pair of shorts I owned and sat on the beach reading a crap paperback I’d found on the bus.
The book was called Remembrance of Things Past, and it was about two thousand pages long. It was boring as hell, but I stayed with it. I couldn’t afford a television or even a radio, so I had to make do with what I had—some French kid worried about his mom kissing him goodnight. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d been kissed. Shit, like I even cared. I needed to find a better book.
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When the sun was gone, I put it aside and listened to the waves hitting the shore as hard as I used to hit the bag. I looked down at my fists. People didn’t understand boxing. They thought it was just idiot brutes punching each other’s lights out, but it was more than that. It was choreography of the feet and hands. It was knowing when to hit your opponent and when to wait, when to wear them down and when to drive it all the way as hard as you could until they hit the mat. It was art.
Rubbing my face with both hands, I pushed those thoughts aside. I had to quit torturing myself with these fucking memories. I looked across the distance to a brightly lit bar. The music was soft, but it still reached me where I sat. Somewhere over there, people were having fun. They had lives to live. They would have love and adventure.
I, on the other hand, would put one foot in front of the other and stay out of trouble. What brought me to this town was the definite possibility of a very dull life.
From all the way across the shore the sound of a woman’s laugh made it to my ears. I sat, looking back at it, thinking of what I’d lost. Until I finally called it a night and went home.
Chapter 6: “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”
Kenny
For the first time in a while, I didn’t wake up before my alarm on Monday. I still wanted to exercise, of course, but I didn’t feel the driving urge to hit the bag like before. Calm had settled over me following the giddy happiness I’d found Saturday night. It was still with me, and it meant I was surviving the grief. I was making it through.
Yesterday, I’d stayed as long as I could with Lane, hugging his baby body, relaxing into his scent until I had to get in the car and drive back to Bayville. Elaine had been extra nice to me, and I figured she was feeling bad about her drunken reveal. Honestly, I was glad she’d said it. I was a lot more conscious of how I interacted with Patrick now, and I included her every chance I got.
Patrick had followed me out to the car he’d helped me buy. “Everything else okay back home? Rook treating you right?”
I squinted up at him holding my door as I tossed my stuff on the passenger’s seat. “Yeah. I just wish he wasn’t so horny all the time.”
At that, Patrick completely changed—his fists clenched, brow lowered. “Is he sexually harassing you?”
“Oh my god, no! Not at all!” I grabbed the side of my hair. “It’s more... he and his wife are sloppy with public decency laws, you know?”
“No.” Patrick frowned as he watched me, still all riled up like my own personal guard dog.
Leaning forward, I dropped my voice. “I caught them having sex a few times.”
“Oh.” His shoulders relaxed. “Well, I can’t hassle him for that.”
“Patrick!” I punched his shoulder.
Elaine joined us smiling. “What did I miss?”
“Your fiancé was giving my boss a pass for having sex all over the gym.”
“Oh, well...” Elaine looked down, and I rolled my eyes.