“I wouldn’t say best, but I know places.”
Thirty minutes later, we were splitting take-out Thai food and discussing twists of fate. Doc was clearly a frustrated philosopher, and from what I gathered he’d been something of a prison guru.
“I’m surprised they kept you inside so long,” I said around a bite of spicy Pad Thai.
He shrugged. “The Universe works in mysterious ways. Things don’t happen when you think they should or in the way you think they should, yet it’s always right for you and your situation.”
I shook my head, lifting the wine glass and taking a sip. Slayde still had a half-bottle in his fridge from the last time we’d been here. I was the only one who drank it.
“I’m amazed I’m not falling apart being here right now.” Clearly the wine had loosened me up. It was a month old and not very good, but I needed something.
“Because you still love him?” Doc’s gaze was pointed.
Not answering that. “I’m also surprised how direct you can be when you want to.”
He leaned back in the chair, first studying the plate in front of him and then lifting his eyes to mine. “Five years ago, you didn’t know each other, and I’m willing to bet you were both very different people. Yes?”
An image of me at twenty-one flashed across my brain—pale, black asymmetrical haircut, short black skirts over ripped fishnets and boots. “I was a little different. I’ve had a son since then.”
“You’re a mother. That’s good,” he nodded.
“It was actually pretty careless of me,” I exhaled a laugh. “But I wouldn’t take anything for my little boy.”
He picked up his fork and moved a broccoli floret through the brown sauce on his plate. “I was in prison for the same reason as Slayde. High as a kite, I held up a convenience store needing money for more drugs. Clerk pulled a rifle... I don’t even remember killing him I was so wasted.”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I tried to keep the stony look off my face.
“Oh, it’s alright,” h
e chuckled ruefully. “I deserve your hatred. I should have died in that cell.”
“Yet here you are.” I thought about Derek’s bitter words to Slayde. He had a reason to be angry at the system. He had a baby boy and a beautiful wife to protect. Shaking that thought away, I put my hand over my eyes. “I think my head’s all messed up.”
“Do you believe people can change?”
For a moment, I pondered that question, trying to decide. “I don’t know.”
“When I met Slayde, he was a different person. He was driven by such rage... I’d never seen anything like it.”
My mind flickered back to the story he’d told me about his dad. It was just as painful to remember now as it had been then. “I guess he had his reasons.”
“I would pray every day.” He paused for another laugh. “I was raised Baptist, so it was all I knew to do. Anyway, I prayed every day the same thing, ‘God help me make up for my wasted life somehow.’” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Slayde would get so pissed at me. Until the day he started asking questions. It all started to change then.”
“He said you helped him.” I circled the base of my wine glass with my finger.
“Slayde wanted to change. Otherwise he would’ve never gotten out.” He was still looking at his plate. “I vouched for him to the parole board. He’s got a good heart, and he wanted to make up for his crimes. I guess they saw something in him worth taking a chance on.”
“That night on the beach, when he saved me...” I couldn’t finish. I could still see his body vibrating with adrenaline in the moonlight, his fists clenching and unclenching. I had no idea the internal battle he was fighting.
“The night you were attacked.” Doc nodded, looking down. “He called me after that. It was pretty significant for him.”
Standing quickly, I pushed the chair aside. “I’m sorry. I’ve got to go.”
I couldn’t sit here and listen to any more of this. My past and his role in it were problems I couldn’t solve. Maybe my soul would always long for his, but it couldn’t be right for us to be together.
Doc stood quickly with me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I’ve got to get home. I’m going to see my son tomorrow.” Just like that, I decided on the spot.