But I don’t. It would scare Dex, it would anger Mel... It would only make things harder for me.
Instead I do what she asks. Ice is in the pit of my stomach as I pick up my duffel and the largest suitcase and carry them to my car. Popping the trunk, I put them inside and go back for the remaining two.
Once everything’s loaded, I turn the car back toward Wilmington, stopping briefly at a liquor store for a fifth of Dewar’s. It doesn’t take long before I’m in a hotel room trying to figure out my next steps. One thing is certain, no matter what she says, this is not over.
Chapter 5: Heartbreak
Melissa
Tears coat my cheeks as I rock my whimpering little boy back and forth on my lap. My entire body is shaking, but I’m struggling for control. I have to keep it together for Dex. He’s only a baby. He’s too small to understand why Mommy can’t stop crying, why Daddy has to go away.
Rocking him in my arms, his little cheek is against my chest, and he’s sucking on his finger. His little fist grips my sleeve tightly. I shush him and kiss his soft dark hair, rubbing his back until he slowly calms down from the explosion of his father trying to break down the door. Derek’s anger is terrifying and his determination formidable. Only one thing is just as strong—my refusal to make the same mistake twice.
The memory cramps my stomach and fills my eyes with fresh tears. A hiccupped breath jerks my throat, and I’m on the verge of sobbing again. Packing Derek’s bags had been the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life, but I will not live in another house of lies and deceptions. At least this time I’ve found out before it was too late.
Elaine and I had spent the day taking the boys for their fittings. Derek had even texted me to check on us. He’d texted me from Raleigh and never said a word about being out of town or what he was doing. He’d pretended he was dealing with Nikki! I can’t believe the extent of his deception, and after just promising me...
The never-ending train show makes a cheerful whistle, and Dex wiggles to get free of my arms. At least he’s young enough that what just happened is quickly forgotten. Mommy’s here, he’s safe in my arms, back to the trains.
Standing on shaky legs, I take his little hand and a train and slowly lead him to my bedroom. Upon entering, it appears the same as it did when Derek was here, but if I open the closet, I’ll see the gaping hole where his suits used to hang. If I open his drawers, I’ll find them empty where his jeans and tees once were. His exercise clothes are gone, his socks. In the bathroom, his toothbrush, razor, shampoo, shave cream... All gone.
The pack and play stands waiting as I gently lower my little boy into it before pulling up his never-ending show on the television. He’s contented as I crawl onto the bed, silently weeping as devastation tries to pull me under.
My phone rings. It’s Elaine’s tone, but I’m too weak to pull it out of my sweater pocket. I know what she wants. After the fitting today, we took the boys for ice cream. Lane wanted a Coke float, but Dex only had half his dip cone before hopping down and running to the indoor playground.
“Derek said not to, but we should drop by the office since we’re in town.” I watched our little boys play. Dex stormed across the top level with such determination, so much like his father, I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Did you forget someth
ing?” Elaine winks at me, but I shake my head.
“I just wanted to stop in and say hey.”
“Wait, what? Stop in and...” Her voice trails off, causing me to turn and catch her confused expression just before she tries to hide it.
“What’s going on?”
She looks at her lap, and I can tell she’s trying to think of an excuse. I’m not having it. “Lainey. What are you not telling me?”
“It’s not me not telling you.” Her voice is soft, and she won’t meet my eyes.
“Then tell me what I don’t know.”
“The guys drove to Raleigh today.”
She doesn’t have to elaborate. I remember all too well what’s in Raleigh. “Has something happened to Star?”
“She’s been getting threatening messages. It’s where the photographs came from.” Shaking her head, she looks away from me, over her shoulder to where Lane has joined Dex on the playground. “After the last one, she wanted to meet in person. She’s scared. Somebody’s been blackmailing her about the crime. Using her to get to Derek.”
With every word, my throat goes tighter and tighter, and I’m sure I’ll start screaming. I’ve never been this angry... ever! We made love yesterday—sexy, passionate love—and I forgave him for keeping secrets, for not telling me he’d murdered my ex-husband... Murdered. My. Ex-husband.
He kept a secret from me so big it could change all our lives. Police could break through our door at any moment as long as we live and take him away, and I would be clueless.
No more secrets. I can still see his steel-blue eyes fixed on mine as he said the words. I promise. He looked me in the eye and gave me his word. Yet here I sit hearing he’s doing it again. We spent the rest of the day together, we slept together last night, had coffee this morning, and he never mentioned it. Never told me what he was doing today. Didn’t say anything in his text. My head feels so hot, I wonder if my face is red.
“I have to go.” Standing, I collect my bag, Dex’s train.
Elaine is on her feet just as fast. “What are you going to do?”