“I like that even better.”
He nods. “Brothers. Always there for each other.”
* * *
I’m sitting on my leather couch staring at the black screen of my enormous television when Star and Cammie bump through the front door.
She doesn’t speak, so I look up to see the little girl is fast asleep on her mother’s shoulder. I put my empty glass on the coffee table. I’ve only gone through half a bottle tonight. I’m trying to pace myself knowing I’ll see Melissa and Dex tomorrow. I want my head to be clear.
Star motions to the guest room, but I don’t respond. I’m tired and numb, and my insides are shredded. I just want to go to bed.
It doesn’t seem like enough time has passed before she’s with me again in the living room, plate in hand.
“Mariska made this. It might be the best thing I’ve ever eaten.” She’s beside me on the couch, but my mind is miles away with Melissa. What is she doing right now? Can she sleep without me? I can’t sleep without her.
“Take a bite.” Blinking up, I realize Star’s been talking, and she’s now holding a fork with a square of cabbage roll on it.
Clearing my throat I straighten up on the couch, taking the fork and plate from her hands. “Thanks,” I say.
She relents and sits back on the couch. The spicy tomato dish tastes like dishwater. I’m in no mood to eat. If I’m honest, I want to go to my room and finish off that fifth until this fucking pain is gone. The only thing stronger than that urge is me not wanting to look like shit tomorrow.
“I hope Cammie sleeps tonight.” I glance up and Star’s chewing her lip. “If she asks for Nan, I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“You’re doing okay with her.”
“You think so?” Worried eyes meet mine.
“Yeah. You’re not born knowing these things. I’ve learned a lot being around Dex, watching him.” I mechanically cut another piece of cabbage, put it in my mouth.
Star exhales, shaking her head. “That’s the problem. I’ve never even babysat. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”
I don’t want to say it shows. I’m trying to be encouraging. “You love her. That’s what’s important. Try to be calm and smile more. Use that voice like Mariska does.”
She nods, blinking fast. “I’m afraid I’m going to break her.”
“Kids are pretty sturdy.”
We’re quiet again, and Star watches as I force myself to take another bite. “It’s good, yeah?”
“I don’t know.”
She laughs then. “You’ve taken four bites. Either you like it or you don’t.”
Leaning forward, I set the plate on the coffee table. “I’m not really hungry.”
We’re quiet again, and I’m about to excuse myself when she speaks. “I wanted to thank you for something else.”
Sitting back on the couch, I look at her, blinking those brown eyes at me. I’m trying to figure out when she got so vulnerable. “Okay?”
Reaching out, she takes my hand and holds it in both of hers. I start to pull away, but somehow that feels mean. “This is going to sound pathetic.”
She does a little laugh, and I confess I’m curious. “Shoot.”
“Nobody has ever believed in me like you did.” Her eyes move from our hands to my face. “Or do?”
Shifting my position to face her, I take my hand back. “You’re a smart girl. I believe you can do better than your past.”
“Right,” she nods, looking down again. Now her hands are clasped in her lap. “You’re the reason I applied to college. I wanted to see if you were right. At the same time, I was scared. You didn’t know me or anything.”