Nice try, I can’t help thinking as Derek declines her offer. He’s here to see his son, but I know who else he’s here to see. Picking up my flute, I take a last gulp of cava. Elaine and I essentially split the bottle.
“I’ll walk you out,” Mom says. Traitor.
Dex is back to playing on the rug, but I can tell from the energy behind his train noises, he’ll be crashing soon. I’m standing in the kitchen clutching the counter when I hear him enter.
“It was a great party.” His voice is soft, and my insides twist painfully.
“Thank you,” I manage in a voice far calmer than I feel.
“Dex seems really excited about his new toys.”
“He really likes the stuffed bear you got him.” I’m still facing the counter, afraid to turn around.
“Yeah,” I hear a smile in his voice. “I know he’s a train guy, but sometimes it’s good to try new things.”
His casual tone makes me glance up at him. It’s a huge mistake, because the pain I’m feeling is reflected in his blue eyes. My heart clenches hard, and I have to look away again. He saw my response, however, and he’s at my side.
“Mom sure is taking a long time with Elaine,” I say around my rapid breath.
“Melissa.” The torture of our separation is bound up in one word. I can barely stand it.
“I think I’d better go for a walk or something.” I try to pass when he catches me by the arms.
“Wait.” His voice breaks on the words, and my eyes flood. “Won’t you talk to me just a moment?”
“It’s too late for talking.”
“It’s not too late if you still believe in us.”
Cutting my eyes up at him, I let out all the anger I’m feeling. “I always believed in us. You were the one who held me apart.”
“You know it wasn’t like that.” His low voice is urgent. “I wanted to protect you.”
“That excuse is only good once, not after you promised me—”
“Dammit, Melissa! I wasn’t trying to break my promise.”
“Still, you lied—”
“No. Lying implies deception. I never tried to deceive you.”
“You conveniently omitted the part where you drove to Raleigh because Star was being blackmailed!”
“I didn’t want you to feel responsible.”
“Responsible? How could I feel responsible? You never let me in!”
“May, tank?” Our voices have grown too loud and Dex toddles in the room. He’s holding his toy in one hand and his new bear in the other. I bend down to pick him up, but I have to look away from the break in Derek’s eyes.
“I need you to give me your key.” My voice is quiet, and I feel my body trembling as I say the words.
Derek steps toward us, but I turn my back.
“Stop this,” he pleads. “Why are you doing this?”
“I’ve lived that life. I’ve been with someone who acted one way before we were married, and once we said I do, everything changed.”
“I’m not like that.” It’s a low growl.