“Grab the reins, and give her space. At least this time, she’s still here. You still have a chance.”
My fists open, and I reach for my glass. Only one sip is left, but I’ve made it through the scorching burn of rage. Now my pain is dulled from the vodka, and all I’m left with is the helplessness.
“Losing Allison is nothing like losing Mel. It was out of my hands. I couldn’t do anything to stop it.”
“The situations might be more similar than you think.”
Glancing up, I study his face. “How so?”
“You can’t do anything now. You’re going to have to let her come around in her own time.”
“I don’t know if I can wait that long.”
We’re interrupted by the sound of the door opening again. Looking back, I see Star enter with her daughter asleep on her shoulder. She does a little wave, and I stand.
“I’m sorry. I needed to come back,” I say softly. “Were you...”
She shakes her head and points to the guest room. “I’m sleeping with Cammie.”
Stuart pats my shoulder and heads for the door, leaving his full glass of vodka by the sink. “I’ll pick you up in the morning. Get some sleep.”
The two doors close simultaneously, and I pick up my phone. She doesn’t want to hear from me, but I’m sticking to my policy of full disclosure.
I drove back to Princeton tonight. I’m going to go in and talk to Nikki, see if Patrick’s found any leads on Star’s situation, see if I can find anything. I’ll be home this weekend. I’ll be thinking of you every minute until then.
I hit Send and wait. Seconds tick past, and there’s no answer. A minute, and I let it go. Stuart’s right. It’s tearing me apart, but I have to let her take the lead.
* * *
Nikki doesn’t even look up from her desk when we enter the glass doors of the Princeton office. It’s not until I speak that her white-blonde head snaps to attention.
“What’s this I hear about you quitting?” My tone is mock disapproval, and her blue eyes go wide.
“Derek!” Her pinup mouth drops open, and I can’t help shaking my head. Of all the secretaries I expected to stick around, it wasn’t this airhead blonde.
“Can I see you in my office?”
She hops up and follows me in the same too-tight dresses she’s worn since Day one. We step inside the office, and I push the door closed.
“What’s going on?” I go around and sit behind the desk, and she takes the chair in front of me, not meeting my eyes.
“I got a better offer at another firm. A law firm.”
“You don’t know anything about being a legal secretary.” She’s bluffing, and I know it. “Try again.”
Clearing her throat, she shifts in her seat, pulling on the hem of her skirt. “Okay, well, I just thought I’d take a break. Maybe go back to school...”
“Remember when it was just the two of us in this office?” She nods, and I continue. “I got pretty good at knowing when you weren’t being completely honest with me.”
“I can’t work here with him anymore.” She says it so fast, I lean back in my chair. I hadn’t expected her to cave in the first round of questioning. “I did everything right. I waited. I... I...”
Her eyes well up, and she drops her chin, pressing her fingertips to her forehead. “I wasted three years, and now I’m too old to meet anybody.” Her shoulders shudder as she cries, and I’m at a loss.
Scanning my former office, I spot a tissue cube in the back corner. Going to fetch it, I cross back and hold it out to her.
“First, you’re young and fit. I’m sure plenty of guys would want to ask you out.” Not me necessarily, but I prefer brunettes. I prefer Melissa. “Second, I don’t think he was expecting you to wait.” It’s a shitty thing to say, but somebody has to tell her the truth.
“I know!” She wails, breaking down even more. She’s full-on sobbing now, pressing a handful of tissues against her nose, her glittered fingernails catching the light. “I’m the loser here. I’m the one who gambled and lost.”