“Derek’s not like that,” I say under my breath, leaning back.
“Derek was alone for how long after his wife died?”
“Six years.” Reaching out, I trace the wood grain with my fingernail.
“And he works in the security business. Investigations. Things that require the utmost secrecy.”
My jaw tightens. “Yes.”
“Derek Alexander is a war hero, am I right? A commanding officer? His friends and coworkers trust him? Vouch for his trustworthiness?”
“Of course.” Pressure is building inside me, pushing upward in my chest.
“Honey,” she exhales a chuckle. “Give the man a chance to mess up once before you throw him out of your life. Especially one as handsome and clearly devoted to you as that one.”
“You don’t understand. It was more than once, and the secrets he kept were...” I can’t tell her the whole story. “They were huge.”
“Another woman?”
“No!” The very idea burns in my stomach.
Bea’s lips curl at my response. “Have you heard from him?”
“He texts me every night... telling me everything.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Her warm tone moves through me like a wave, and I know what has to happen. The truth is clear as a bell. I don’t know why I didn’t see it sooner.
“Love is a risk,” she says. “Putting your heart out, making yourself vulnerable again is scary. I can only imagine how gun-shy you must feel after your last experience. But trust me, you picked the right man this time. Everyone can see it.”
I’m on my feet and at her counter collecting my things before her last words are even uttered. “Do you mind if I reschedule our meeting?”
“Only if it’s for the reason I hope it is.”
“I’ll call you next week.”
* * *
Baltimore is two and a half hours southwest of Princeton. Somehow I manage to make the drive in two, my mind racing through everything Aunt Bea said to me the entire way. I don’t call, I don’t think or even give myself a chance to second-guess. Her words seared through my fears and doubts, making even my anger seem incredibly silly. If my mother were in the room, I know what her diagnosis would be: projection.
Fear, gun-shyness, whatever was going on, it’s over, and now I’m sitting in my car looking up at the Alexander-Knight office building. My heart beats so fast it hurts. A quick glance at the clock tells me it’s five-thirty.
“Please be here,” I whisper.
Hopping out, I run inside and press the elevator button. It takes an eternity to finally open at the bottom floor. Dashing inside, I repeatedly press the button for the top floor. Finally the doors close, and another eternity as it slowly starts to rise.
Tapping my foot, I pace the small box. “Come on!” I growl, until finally the movement stops. A pause and the doors slowly open.
Running out into the breezeway, I head straight for the glass double-doors and push through. Nikki’s not at her desk, and I only briefly wonder if she’s even still working here. I’m headed straight for his office, but before I turn the handle, I stop. I’m breathing fast,
and I’m actually trembling.
Wiping my palms down the sides of my jeans, I scrub my hair with my fingertips, hoping it looks pretty and not smashed from riding in the car all day. I’m wearing a red sweater, which is a relief. His favorite color. Hand on my twisting stomach, I take a deep breath and open the door.
The sight of him hits me like a freight train. He’s behind his desk in his usual charcoal suit and tie. Elbows bent, his forehead is lined. A dark brown wave has fallen on one eye, and his lips are in a firm line making his square jaw stand out attractively. I wonder for a half-second what’s got him so focused. His phone is in his hand, and he appears to be texting.
I don’t know what to say, so I clear my throat softly. Steel blue eyes snap up to mine, and a rush of energy floods my body.
“Hi,” I say softly. “I hope I’m not disturbing you.”