Under the Stars

At that her eyes meet mine, defiant. “I killed a man. Gavin has it on video. How much worse can it get?”

We stand for a moment facing each other. Her defenses are up but so are mine. I fall back on my interrogation training. I take a deep breath, step away, and bring the tension down.

Softening my voice, I start again. “He said you lured Guy into your dressing room and killed him… I’m going to assume this was after he—”

“You were gone.” Her voice cracks, and when I look into her eyes this time, I see she’s at the breaking point. “It was only me, alone with Molly. I was still in pain… I still hurt. I physically hurt.” She takes a shaky inhale, and her eyes glisten with unshed tears. “He burst into the room after a show, and he tried… He tried…”

Her bottom lip trembles, and her eyes squeeze shut as if she’s in agony. I’m across the space, pulling her body to mine before she can say another word.

“Come here.” My hands are on her back, holding her close. “Just breathe,” I whisper, and she melts into me, quivering.

I hold her tighter, pouring my strength into her broken heart. “It’s going to be okay,” I say softly, putting my hand on the back of her hair and stroking it down.

Lowering my chin, I kiss her head, and I feel it slowly moving back and forth.

“No,” she whispers. “It’s not going to be okay. He’s going to hold this over me, hold me prisoner with it…”

Her voice breaks off, and I tighten my arms around her waist. “I will never let that happen.” Sliding my hands up and down her body, I hold her until her shaking starts to subside. Until she’s able to speak without crying.

“Talk to me,” I urge. “The more you tell me, the more I can help you.”

She steps out of my arms and goes to the bathroom, runs water in the sink, and I open another tiny bottle. I should call room service and get them to send up a fifth, but I don’t.

Finally she returns holding a damp washcloth to her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I never thought…”

She doesn’t finish, but I’m pretty sure I know what her words would be. If she had known Gavin would say the things he did tonight, she would never have agreed to wear a wire. It’s cynical, but I can’t deny it based on our history—she would never have told me about Guy.

“Who else knows about this?”

“Roland. He was there when it happened.”

“In your dressing room?” I rise to my feet, encouraged by this additional information. “He can verify what you’re saying—that Guy was attacking you. It was self defense.”

Her head bows, and the guilt returns. “He wasn’t attacking me when it happened.”

“What do you mean? Why else—”

“He came into the room like I said, but Roland came in behind him and knocked him out with a stage pin.”

“Are you sure that didn’t kill him?”

She nods, stepping to the mini fridge and taking out a mini bottle of wine. I wait as she unscrews the cap and pours a glass.

“Roland only knocked him out. He was trying to get me to safety. Roland was gathering my clothes when Guy started to wake up…”

“And then he attacked you?”

Her lips press together, and her eyes are downcast. “I didn’t give him a chance.”

She doesn’t need to say another word. Standing, I go to where she is and pull her into my arms again. I don’t blame her for what she did. I remember Guy, but even more, I remember the overwhelming pressure of being in that place. I was caught up in it, but she was trapped.

I guide us to the bed and sit against the headboard. She curls up beside me, her head on my chest, and I cradle her in my arms. I think about the sharp conflict between my duty as an officer of the law and the fact that the love of my life has committed murder, a crime so heinous, it has no statute of limitations.

In my mind, there’s no debate over what I should do. I was present when she was being abused, being held captive by a madman. I was nearly killed trying to stop what happened to her, and if that puts me in direct conflict with my oath as an officer, then fuck it. I’ll walk away from that oath.

But I won’t have to make that decision.

“You acted in self defense,” I say with finality. “If anyone knows that, it’s me, and I’m going to prove it. I will never let you be punished for what you’ve done.”