Under the Stars

“I’m not listening to lies anymore. From anyone.”

I’m back to the bureau, pulling open the last drawer. He puts his palm on it and slams it shut. Jillian emits a squeal just before she hiccups and starts to cry. He leaves me and goes to lift her out of the crib, but I follow.

“Put her down.”

“I will not put her down.” Brown eyes flash at me. “You’re going to tell me what the hell this is about. What are you accusing me of doing?”

Jilly cries more, and I imagine it’s the first time she’s heard Roland raise his voice. Still, I’m not backing down.

“When we were in Seattle, when I met with Gavin. How did he know I had a baby? Only one person knew about her birth.” My eyes flashed, and I poke my finger in his chest. “You.”

“Did he say I told him?”

“No—”

“Then what the fuck, Lara? Are you kidding me?” Jilly’s cries grow louder, stronger, and he turns her so her little face is against his chest. He hugs her close and goes to the door, ducking as he leaves the room.

I stay behind a few moments, attempting to calm my emotions so I can calm my little girl. When I walk out, he’s swaying side to side, smoothing her back with his hand.

“Shh, princess. It’s okay.” His voice is soft, and he kisses her little head.

She’s still fretting, but she’s not screaming anymore.

“We went to a small, private hospital. I used an alias.” My voice has an edge, but I’m holding it steady. “No one knew she was born except Molly and you.”

“Then what did you do?” His voice matches mine, edgy but calm.

“What do you mean? We came back here and stayed with you. It all comes back to you.”

Jilly’s bottom lip quivers, and two tears hang in perfect little spheres on her bottom lashes. I reach for her, but he turns away, hugging her closer.

“What else did you do when you came here?” he asks.

My brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

“Did you enter a convent?” Sarcasm.

“No, we—”

“You lived your life. You visited with Evie, you went out, you sang with me in the club… How do you think Mark found you?” His eyes flash, and he turns to me again.

Jilly scrubs her face against his shoulder and he inhales a few times, calming his voice. “Everybody saw you. Everybody knew you’d had a baby. Anyone could have told anyone, and it got back to him. How dare you accuse me?”

My throat is tight, and my heart is still thundering, but I can’t argue with him. The shock and fear of Gavin knowing everything about me is still so fresh, I’m not ready to let him off the hook so fast.

Still, he has a point. We didn’t go into hiding. We were out and about in the Quarter—where any number of Gavin’s old acquaintances might have seen us.

“Can I have her now?”

“No.” My jaw drops, but he continues. “All I’ve ever done is help and protect you, and since Jilly came, it’s been the same with her. You know where my loyalty lies.”

“Give her to me.”

The muscle in his jaw flexes, but he hands her over. I hug her close to me, and she puts her head on my shoulder. Two fingers are in her mouth, and she grips my hair in her little fist. Roland watches us, his expression stricken.

“Do you really think I’d do that?” His voice cracks, all anger gone. “I love you, Lara. I love Jilly. Soon you’ll be leaving, and I won’t see you… possibly ever again. Tell me you don’t believe I would hurt you.”

Swallowing the thickness in my throat, I hug my baby tighter before fixing my eyes on the floor. “So much has happened, I don’t know who to trust—”