One to Take (One to Hold 8)

He had wanted to oversize the diamond, but as an artist, there was no way I could let him ruin the original jeweler’s composition. As a result, I have a tiny, quarter-carat diamond engagement ring, and my grumpy fiancé will have to deal with it.

Smiling at the memory, my eyes move to the mirror, and I spread my palms over my flat stomach again. I can’t wait to tell him, yet at the same time, I’m so nervous. We didn’t plan this. I don’t know how it happened, since I’ve been on the pill for ages to regulate my periods.

I think he’ll be happy. He likes to be in control and make all the decisions, but a baby is different. Sometimes they just come, whether we’re prepared or not. Who am I kidding? Unexpected is the way our relationship has been since the first day Stuart and I met. He stormed into the gym in Bayville where I worked with my best friend Kenny, and I was mesmerized.

He was wounded, running. His eyes were haunted, and pain rippled off him in waves. Then my dreams began. I’d wake up screaming, my whole body on fire, and all I could see was his face. He lay on the sand suffering, and I knelt down to give him water…

I had to see him again. He was The One—as crazy as that sounds. Kenny had a lot of fun teasing me about my response to him. I couldn’t blame her. I’d have given me a hard time, too. It was ridiculous, but it was undeniable.

In an insanely impulsive act of carpe diem, I followed him all the way here, to Great Falls, where his younger brother Patrick covered for me, saying I was invited. Stuart resisted me a little while before finally taking everything I wanted to give him. Still, he wouldn’t say what we both knew. The bond between us was real and lasting and forever. He pushed me away one too many times, until I left him, going all the way back to Bayville. He came to get me, though, and now look at us. Parents.

Smoothing lotion over my stomach, I glance at my bright blue toenails and smile. The color reminds me of the big sky over the fields, the reflection on the water. I used to dream in color, which according to Yaya meant I had a gift.

My dreams of Stuart brought us together and ultimately gave him peace and healing. Unwelcome memories of cold, wet pavement, distorted streetlights, and alleys that grow narrower the farther I run through them trickle into my thoughts like icy water. My brow lines, and I try to make sense of these recent images.

“What could they mean, baby?” I whisper.

I don’t even realize I’m not alone until Sylvia’s smooth voice breaks the silence. “How long have you known?”

“Oh!” I jerk the sides of

the robe closed over my stomach.

“I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to scare you.” Her green eyes shine with unshed tears as she walks through the bathroom door straight to where I’m standing. “Your door was open, and I’ve been calling you.”

“I-I didn’t hear you. I’m sorry. I… have a lot on my mind.” Shit!

“Does Stuart know?”

Her voice is so calm and wise and warm. I drop my chin and shake my head. “I haven’t told him. I only just found out a few weeks ago.”

“A new baby.” Clasping her hands, she holds them in front of her mouth. “It’s going to be so much fun!”

“Sylvia!” I reach for her wrists. “Please don’t say anything yet!”

“Is something wrong? Is there a problem with—”

“No! Nothing’s wrong. I don’t think. I just… I want to be sure… That’s all.” Looking down, I try to find the words to explain my feelings. “Stuart’s so in control of everything. I don’t want to tell him until I’m sure he’s ready. I mean, we’re ready…”

She’s quiet several moments. Glancing up, I see her confusion has melted into something different—something like empathy.

“Stuart is a lot like his father.” She nods and steps toward the bathroom door. “At the same time, he’s not entirely his father. He has half of me in him, too. He’ll be thrilled you’re having a baby. You’ll see.”

“Oh, Sylvia…” Crossing the bathroom quickly, I stop beside her and touch her arm. “I can’t tell you how much this means to me.” I slide my hand over my stomach now covered in the slippery robe. “It’s what I’ve wanted for so long. What I’ve longed for. I didn’t even know how much.”

She covers my hand with hers. “I wouldn’t dream of stealing your moment. At the same time, you need a local doctor if you’re planning to stay here another month.”

“Maybe.” I look in the mirror again, hugging my waist. “Stuart keeps saying we’ll only be here a few more weeks, but I can tell he wants to stay longer.”

We’re quiet again, but this time I can tell she’s choosing her words. When she finally speaks, her voice is measured. “I think being here makes him happy.”

“I do, too.”

Another long pause, and again, her words are cautious. “How do you feel about being here?”

It’s a good question. I’m midway through my graduate degree in art back home, and Stuart wants me to transfer my credits to Princeton, where he lives. Correction, where we both will live once we’ve finished moving my stuff from my apartment in Bayville.

I want to finish my degree and stick to the plan, and yet… I remember last winter here in Great Falls, nights wrapped in an Indian blanket, making love in front of a blazing campfire under a sky full of stars.